HOW TO SURVIVE YOUR CHILD’S PUBLIC TANTRUMS
WITH MUM-OFTWO AND SOCIAL COMMENTATOR ANGELA MOLLARD
It’s one of the most mortifying aspects of parenting. What seems like a simple trip to the supermarket or the park suddenly turns into a tantrum of the most monumental proportions. Worse, now you both have red faces – your kid from screaming and you from the embarrassment of their very public meltdown.
But tantrums in public are a normal part of childhood – and parenting – so here’s five steps to help manage them.
IDENTIFY THE ISSUE
All sorts of things can prompt a tantrum – from tiredness, discomfort, anxiety, being told ‘no’ or unexpected schedule changes. But it helps if we see the outburst as more than just a display of anger. Experts say sadness persists throughout a tantrum so responding with kindness and empathy is paramount.
DEFLECT AND DON’T FIGHT
If you see the tantrum coming, use humour or distraction to deflect your child away from the meltdown. Ask a question that makes them laugh, or if in the supermarket, tell them you need their help to find a special item. If the tantrum still escalates, try not to reprimand, punish or bribe. Rather, acknowledge your child’s feelings and instead of telling them to stop remind them you’re there alongside them as they deal with how they feel.
HAVE A PRE-GAME PLAN
While some tantrums are unexpected there are measures parents can take to see them off. Have reasonable expectations, give clear explanations before you go and make sure you’ve given your child attention before you leave home. While out you could give your child a task so they feel as if they have some control over the setting and find ways of not saying no. For instance: “Yes, we’re going to go the park after we’ve finished at the shops.”
TOSS THE EMBARRASSMENT
Most people have been where you’ve been so whether on a plane or at the supermarket try not to stress. Tantrums are a phase and part of their learning. As Patrick A. Coleman writes on the Fatherly website, there’s only one way to deal with anyone tutting or giving you a glare. “Well, those are simply bad people, and you can feel sorry for them that they have no compassion in their lives because that’s a sad way to live!”
GIVE YOUR TIME
If your child is going with you to the post office then the bank then the supermarket, make sure you give them some one-on-one time after each task is completed. Take along toys or food, and if you do have to cut short an outing, it’s not the end of the world.