WE SPENT $ 117, 000 TO HAVE A BABY
MARIE AND DALE REFUSED TO GIVE UP THEIR DREAM
Having spent $117,000 on eight rounds of IVF after going through menopause aged 36, Marie Neal never imagined her dream of becoming a mum would come true.
Marie and her husband, Dale, 51, had longed for children in their 30s.
After tying the knot 12 years ago, the couple began trying for a baby but were devastated when Marie couldn’t fall pregnant.
“Being told you’re going through the menopause at 36 was heartbreaking; it was a real-life nightmare,” Marie, now 50, tells New Idea.
“It wasn’t until doctors told me I couldn’t have any children that I realised how important having a family was. It was a terrible shock because with no more eggs, it meant I’d never have a biological child of my own.”
But Marie and Dale refused to give up on their baby dream and began looking into other options. After reading how donor egg babies take in much of the pregnant mum’s DNA while growing in the womb, Marie felt happy about trying it. And a year waiting to be matched with a donor egg, Marie, then 42, had her first
IVF cycle, but it failed.
Six months later, Marie became pregnant on a second IVF attempt. Devastatingly, at six weeks she miscarried.
A third attempt also resulted in an ectopic pregnancy.
“It was terrible knowing I was pregnant but the baby wouldn’t survive as it moved into the fallopian tube,” Marie says.
A fourth attempt also resulted in another ectopic pregnancy, and a fifth attempt proved negative.
“That was due to be our final go. We had decided if we hadn’t had a baby by the age of 45, we would try to content ourselves with a life without children.”
“I even bought books
about making a life without kids, but at the same time, friends were having babies. I was so happy for them but I wanted to experience that joy myself. I couldn’t accept not being a mum,” Marie says. So in January 2015, the couple went to a clinic in the Czech city of Prague which Marie had researched online. Their first attempt there resulted in a positive test, but once again she had a miscarriage.
In July 2016, they tried again in Prague, but Marie experienced an “incredibly rare and dangerous” type of ectopic pregnancy and had to have the embryo removed.
Six months later, an eighth attempt also sadly proved negative. The clinic had some frozen embryos left from Marie’s previous attempts and offered them a final IVF round for free, after the couple had already spent $117,000 on the eight failed attempts.
But it was still a difficult decision to make.
UK doctors had warned it could be dangerous for Marie because of her age.
“Forty-nine was the cut-off age for the clinic in Prague. I knew if I got to 50 that would be the end of the journey,” Marie remembers.
But the couple went ahead, and miraculously, the final attempt was successful.
“From the first scan to when she was born, it was a textbook pregnancy. I had a small, neat bump and felt great. I was glowing,” Marie says.
Essie was born by caesarean section on August 10, 2018.
The couple have since shared their story to give others hope.
“We treasure every moment with Essie as we longed to be parents for so long, I still have to pinch myself that I’m actually a mum, even now,” Marie says.
“It has been such a long and emotional journey that even now, 17 months later, I can’t quite believe I am finally a mum.”
Proud father, Dale has now published his own children’s book, My Socks Have Gone Bonkers, to celebrate the journey – after penning short stories during the couple’s heart-breaking fertility struggle.
Dale says: “A few years ago we were in a really dark place. We’d spent most of our money and things were looking like they weren’t going to work.
“I had no reason to think I was going to be published and we were becoming more and more helpless with trying to get pregnant.
“So to have them both, a published book [and] book deal and our miracle baby, is a better happy ending than I could have
ever imagined.”