SUPPORTING KIDS THROUGH tough times

EXPOSURE TO FAMILY VIOLENCE IMPACTS CHILDREN OF ALL AGES

Awareness of domestic and family violence and its devastating impact on women has thankfully grown in recent years, but its harmful effects on children remain lesser known.

Almost 10 women a day are hospitalised for assault injuries perpetrated by a spouse or domestic partner, according to a 2019 report by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. Of those women who experience domestic violence, more than 50 per cent have children in their care, reports Family and Community Services NSW.

“Too often, children are silent witnesses to domestic and family violence,” says Paul Moger, general manager of national counselling service 1800RESPECT. “Children of all ages will be impacted by living in a home where there are power and control issues, abusive behaviour, verbal violence or physical violence. This has even been found in studies involving unborn children.”

A 2012 study showed that children’s exposure to family violence can take many forms, including overhearing violence, caring for a hurt parent and helping to clean up damage. What’s more, children exposed to family violence have higher levels of emotional and behavioural problems.

“The impacts can be immediate, with responses such as shock and trauma, physical injuries and the child or young person may become withdrawn, angry or fearful,” explains Paul, adding that further impacts include sleeping issues, anxiety and depression and self-harming behaviour.

“Longer-term impacts include shaping the way the child’s brain physically develops, their ability to form healthy attachments, and their view of the world as a safe and welcoming place.”

If you suspect that a child you know may be affected, there are ways you can help. “Extended family and kinship groups play an important role in a child’s life,” says Paul.

“Support your grandchild or family member by providing a secure, loving, dependable and predictable relationship and environment, and to also reach out for professional support. Role modelling healthy behaviours is key. Children do what we do, not what we say.”

WHAT YOU CAN DO

“If you suspect a child is experiencing or living with domestic violence, we encourage you to reach out for professional support and advice. You can do this anonymously by calling 1800RESPECT or another domestic violence helpline,” says Paul, who suggests the following ways to support children:

• Reach out for professional support and advice.

• Offer security and safety.

• Where possible, keep them safe from violence.

• Provide lots of affection and care.

• Don’t speak negatively of abusive family members, but let them know that violence and abusive behaviour is never OK.

• Role model positive relationships by being respectful and not aggressive when interacting with others.

• Help them get involved in things they enjoy and that boost self-esteem and mental wellbeing, such as hobbies, sports and exercise.

• Provide a secure, predictable and healthy relationship.

• Enlist the help of a professional, such as a child psychologist.