LOSS OF A PARTNER
MOVING ON CAN BE DIFFICULT, BUT IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE
Feelings of great loss, confusion, anger, helplessness and misery can take over if your partner passes away. It’s an unimaginable reality you may face one day. The reality of overcoming a death is more difficult than you may realise, even if you both spoke about it at some point.
So, how exactly can you move forward when the love of your life has passed away?
FORWARD IS FORWARD
There is no expiration date on mourning. Like having our own ways of grieving, we each have our own timeline. Instead of telling you to find closure, the reality is most people don’t ever find full closure. Mourning can be felt at different degrees throughout our life. You don’t need to justify to anyone the amount of time you take to mourn your spouse. Giving yourself permission to take things slow and spending time on yourself is just as vital as the grieving process itself.
Getting back into activities you love, getting proper sleep, practising self-care routines, and reconnecting with friends and family means you’re starting to put yourself as a priority. Moving forward isn’t just about getting back into dating, it’s about rediscovering who you are and being comfortable with social situations in new ways.
MOVING ON WITHOUT FORGETTING
For many people who are ready to find a companion after the death of a spouse, they find they haven’t actually been on the dating scene for years or even decades. It’s not uncommon to feel anxious or scared, but dating doesn’t necessarily need to be about finding the new ‘one’.
Think about dating as more like activities to do with someone you enjoy being around. This creates a lesspressured way of dating, and it will also help you naturally find a partner you can be friends with first.
Try to remember your passed partner realistically. We often romanticise them because it can seem disrespectful to review any unattractive qualities, plus it’s easy to forget the tough times. A new partner will be your new reality, but don’t get caught up in comparing their flaws to your past partner’s strengths.
It can be difficult for new partners to not feel like the second-best. Give them an opportunity to discuss their feelings and emotions.
Anyone new in your romantic life may feel they will never replace your past, and they can’t, because there is always a place in your heart that is taken.