“Vegetable gardening might be considered one of the great conservative rituals”

In this issue you will find a piece by the talented Lynda Hallinan. She has been tiki-touring round the UK recently and met some especially enthusiastic giant vege growers and her story this month gives a particularly fascinating insight into the world of these world champions.

And what a world it is, ladies and gentlemen. There is passion. There is drive. There is ambition – overweening at times. There is camaraderie and competition. Triumph and disaster. There are vegetables too, obviously. But such vegetables. I reeled. I was rocked. I am not joking; this story offers everything. I expect considerable interest in the movie rights.

But you, my very dear readers, will not have to wait for the cinema release to enjoy all the drama that Growing Giant Vegetables (the words demand capitals) affords. This month I offer you the opportunity to step right in to this breathlessly exciting realm. For we are holding the first

NZ Gardener Giant Vege Challenge. In the UK, giant vegetable shows are a staple of the gardening calendar, and men and women (cough, mainly men) get together across the land to display their colossal carrots, gigantic gourds and over-size onions.

But the inaugural NZ Gardener Giant Vege Challenge includes only one crop: the trombone squash ‘Rampicante’, an Italian heirloom zucchini. If you have not grown this variety before, then you are in for a treat. The long, slender, fat-bottomed fruit naturally curve into C-shapes and S-shapes, twisting back on themselves and around each other.

I grew it last year and I assumed the name ‘Rampicante’ referred to the rampant growth of this cultivar, which spreads and sprawls out across any available space. But my Italian friend Nicky told me rampicante actually means climbing, and it’s true if you give this zucchini a trellis, it will scramble up it (apparently then the fruit won’t curve but instead grow long and straight with a fat bell-bottom).

To get your free packet of Zucchini ‘Rampicante’ seed to take part in this challenge, send a stamped self-addressed envelope to Giant Vege Challenge, NZ Gardener, PO Box 6341, Wellesley Street, Auckland 1141.

Stocks are extremely limited – our friends at Kings Seeds have given us 1200 packets. Once they are gone, they are gone, so you will need to act fast. But that is good. The world of giant veges has no room for dawdlers.

You can eat ‘Rampicante’ too, of course. Harvested young it can be eaten like a zucchini, left to mature on the vine until the skin hardens, you can store it and use it like a butternut squash. I like it best harvested medium-sized, sliced into rounds and grilled on the barbecue.

But the NZ Gardener Giant Vege Challenge is not about growing vegetables to eat, my friends. It is about growing vegetables for glory. And I mean that. Because you will also be competing against the

NZ Gardener team. We are putting our horticultural reputations on the line and will be taking part in the challenge ourselves.

If you think you are gardener enough to take us on, then don’t delay. Get sowing. Get growing. And when your ‘Rampicante’ are ready, get in touch. We want to know length. We want to know weight. We also give bonus points for amusing photographs.

Send your best results to us at mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, post them on our Facebook page or Instagram or mail them to the address above before the end of February. We will share the best efforts – ours and yours – with you next year. It’s Zucchini Idol, my friends. All the drama. All the passion. All the opportunities for fame. All that remains is to find out who will star.

David M. Tucker