Generation XX
One of the many warning signs of a serious alcohol addiction.
The weird thing about alcohol in games is that it (almost always) doesn’t have any kind of (real life) effect. You use it to get a buff, or to choose a darker narrative path, or to see if something goofy will happen. It’s an abstraction. In real life, alcohol always creates a physical or emotional feeling. Sometimes, it’s a chill buzz with friends, other times it’s sadness, or violence. I wish I could say I was naive to some of alcohol’s more harmful qualities, but I’m not. In fact, I’d wager that most people have been touched by alcohol, in some damaging way, by the age of 41.
I recently described Disco Elysium to a friend as, “Constantly devastating.” Sure, this is a cop story, but one in which the protagonist is confronted with illness, shame, ridicule and pity at every turn. The game begins with a blackout so severe he can’t even remember his name (and he introduces himself to people as the flamboyant, but highly implausible, “Raphael Ambrosius Costeau”). This made my stomach turn. Note that I’d usually refer to my character as “me” but this was too much shame to roleplay up front. I became Harry, in my mind, somewhat later.
In my experience, people who abuse drugs often blame themselves and expect this kind of mistreatment from others. Society widely assumes all people can use (legal) drugs moderately, disregarding genetic and circumstantial risk factors, as well as comorbidities for drug abuse, like mental health disorders. Sometimes, however, people will surprise you with understanding and forgiveness. In Disco Elysium, this person is Kim Kitsuragi, your partner on a murder investigation. I marvelled at his kindness and serenity.
This is not to say that Kim was never exasperated by my actions or that he indulged my madness. We met two wannabe gang members wearing jackets emblazoned with “Fuck the World” and “PissF ****** t”. One dialogue option asks Kim which jacket he’d wear if we could wear them together and I desperately wanted to know the answer. After some cajoling, he chose PissF ****** t. Incredibly, I passed a check and convinced the thugs
One dialogue option asks Kim which jacket he’d wear if we could wear them together and I desperately wanted to know the answer.
to give me their jackets, but then Kim wouldn’t wear Pissf ****** t. I was so disappointed and I’m not even sure why.
Self-destruction meets steely, unconditional love is never going to be a healthy romance, but it can absolutely frame a friendship. I asked Kim (seeking reassurance) why he stuck with me and he made guarded remarks about me (actually) being a good cop. I certainly learned more about Kim, but I never fully grasped why he was so faithful. The choices I made were chaotic and feverish. I pointed his gun at a child. I wanted to fulfil the quest, “Find speed and sniff it,” because I was embarrassed I’d nearly removed my pants, in company, for an almost logical reason.
I could have played Harry as clean, to try to redeem his sorry arse, but I didn’t. The game does a really good job of making drug-use seem compelling. For starters, Harry’s internal narrative unfolds based on the skills you’re investing in. Electrochemistry ruminates about a spilled patch of booze on a table and begs you to lick it. Drugs also raise skill caps, as if intensifying your personality, but become so dangerous. The station’s Lazarus begged me to stop drinking. I kept drinking. Why? It never stopped making sense; confusing, wrong, pitiable, destructive sense.
It’s not as if there’s no warning about the dangers of alcohol/drugs in Disco Elysium. My favourite quest was one Harry just (kind of) invented. He saw a woman and assumed her husband was missing. Despite her insisting he wasn’t, Harry found her a random drunk.
I won Failbetter Games’ Worlds of the Season competition (a while back) with a Storynexus project about clones terraforming Mars. My player character could get “jugsoaked” (drunk) and romance the (obviously inanimate) umbrella stand, as kind of a twisted substitute for the game’s actual (slightly scary) romance. It ended badly. I must have traumatised at least a couple of players, because they still mention it to me occasionally. Regrettably, I don’t think my game had a Kim Kitsuragi. It was his faith that inspired me to (eventually) love Harry unconditionally, too.