TWO POINT HOSPITAL: OFF THE GRID.
DEVELOPER Two Point Studiso PRICE $13.50 RELEASE Out now.
ONLINE https://www.twopointhospital.com/
Iwould like to begin this review by thanking my twelve year old son, Nick. Due to his complete disregard for my (extremely sensible) suggestion that he not ride his skateboard down “that hill”, I had the exciting experience of being in a hospital during a pandemic! Thankfully, it all felt very safe, but only because we didn’t have to attend any of the diabolical institutions I’ve created in Two Point Hospital: Off the Grid. Two thirds of all the patients who enter my surgery leave in a body bag, even with a doubly qualified surgeon and half competent nurse.
It’s useful that dead people pay their bills, however. Most surgeries cost around $23,000. Perhaps it’s been a while since I played, but money seems constantly tight in this DLC. Or, it could just be the fact that I wanted to buy everything that’s new; rooms, objects, whatever. Although new features are added incrementally, over three hospitals, it becomes harder to know which clinics to prioritise. The first new context; the hippy village of Wanderoff, will be plagued by Woodworms, a Pinocchio-like illness, but what else may need to be treated later?
On the topic of Pinocchio, the first additional room, Woodwork, made no sense at all, until I read a synopsis of the film (1940), while writing this review. I’d thought that the famous marionette was turned into a real boy by a blue fairy and by being good, or maybe by the power of love, or something like that. I could not understand why the cure for Woodworms was to be swallowed by a whale. Actually, I still can’t understand why that would be the cure, but at least Pinocchio was swallowed by a whale in the original film, so it makes a kind of
I’m pretty sure my son was swallowed by a whale during the three hours I had to wait for him to come out of his (not incredibly dangerous) surgery.
“Two Point Hospital sense”.
In fact, I’m pretty sure my son was swallowed by a whale during the three hours I had to wait for him to come out of his (not incredibly dangerous) surgery. The hospital we attended is very new and I spent that time wandering around the healthy food cafeteria, reflecting on the idea that great nutrition should be essential to recovery, for a range of illnesses. Interestingly, this DLC includes rainwater and organic vegetables. Many of the hospital’s goals involve feeding them to people which, in turn, is a great reminder that happy patients make for smooth operation.
Indeed, I quite liked the aspects of Off The Grid that made the game subtly more challenging, like the extra maintenance required in the Herb Garden, the hefty size requirement for new rooms and the need to sustainably power new areas in Windsock (even though this is really just by spending money). I played the heck out of the base game, so silly new objects like a distracting “Dimension Door” and a creepy, angry, doll psychiatrist were a welcome touch. And I mostly just enjoyed having new buildings to fill with ill-fitting rooms.
After being acquired by Sega, I’m unsure as to whether Two Point Hospital should continue to be considered an indie game. I didn’t actually realise that several other (not inexpensive) DLCs have already been released, too. I picture my future engagement with the game being more like how I play The Sims 4; a flurry of enthusiasm for something new, but without being able to recapture the initial fervour I felt for the game. I wonder if this progressive apathy could be cured by being swallowed by a large creature. I’ll consult the doctor.