DINO DINI’S KICK OFF REVIVAL
This is not the beautiful game
The Kick Off series originated when games were played with joysticks, so its control scheme had to be simple enough to work with just a single button. This latest version uses the same system – hold q to tackle, control and dribble the ball, tap it to pass or shoot with the direction and power indicated by the left stick, and tap it when not in possession to slide or head.
It’s not only a terrible, counter-intuitive setup that simply doesn’t work with DualShock 4 but, incredibly, it isn’t actually explained anywhere within Revival. This means that if you didn’t play it back in the ‘90s, you have no idea how to dribble or pass properly. As the controls make it almost impossible to do either anyway, you spend most of your time hoofing the ball up the pitch. But that’s alright, since matches only bear a loose resemblance to football to begin with: there’s no referee or assistants, yellow or red cards, offsides, replays, substitutes, team management or tactics of any kind. 1
Players comically slide 30ft into crunching tackles and leave persistent muddy streaks everywhere. Goalkeepers fly into their nets or off the pitch while holding the ball, then carry on as if nothing happened. Tied games in the one European Cup tournament included go to a replay instead of penalties. The list goes on and on. At least there’s an online mode, which levels the playing field by pitting you against another human struggling with the same unwieldy controls. But with only friendlies available, there’s no depth to keep players interested. This may not be the worst Kick Off game ever, 2 but even blind nostalgia can’t redeem its many faults. Iain Wilson