100FT ROBOT GOLF
Not quite up to par
Listen: if flirting, kickflipping and fighting were allowed in the Masters, we’d all be golfing champs. The reality is that charm and imagination can only take you so far when it comes to the gentleman’s game. Sadly, nobody told this kooky – but unforgivably clumsy – VR-optional golf sim.
You tee up as a variety of giant, mechsuited club wranglers for macro golfing. The aim? Put ball in hole in as few strokes as possible – or race to sink the putt before your opponents. Athletes can smack skyscrapers or nemeses out of the way with r, and all harbour individual and perfectly legal abilities on the bumpers, such as discotastic “party balls” or throwable swords.
Trouble is, both explanation or any vaguely meaningful mechanical evolution are nonexistent. Bereft of tutorials, you’ll somehow bash your way through a derivative fourhour campaign versus dim AI. Although a sumptuously-rendered mecha anime parody (complete with intentionally bad English dub), it’s slow and dull. Jokes struggle to elicit more than emphatic snorts. The brothers McElroy’s comedy commentary fares better, but becomes maddening when it repeats within the first half hour of play. 1 To top it all, rather than augmenting the experience, riding your mech in VR actually makes Robot Golf worse – both graphically and practically.
Despite an uncharacteristically great final level and admirable options for local and online multiplayer, 100ft Robot Golf is just bang-average. 2 Want peak No Goblin drollery in a well-designed game? Spend your cash on previous PS4 title Roundabout. Even the five corgis simultaneously piloting a Transformer can’t make this one par excellence. Jen Simpkins