DESTROY ALL HUMANS!

We want to believe (in remakes)

Anal probes, bovine tampering, and a mech powered by a former US President’s brain are just some of the things this remade cult classic will offer you when it arrives in the early part of 2020. Never thrown a cow at a tank using telekinesis? There’s no better place to start.

We have a list of games we want remade, and no matter how fondly we remember extracting brains from a human’s anus, Destroy All Humans! has never been top of that list – until now. This is no mere 1:1 remake, as developer Black Forest Games is adding a flying-saucer-sized list of new features and tweaks to the original game to make it feel more like a semi-sequel.

“We [have] created completely new assets for Destroy All Humans!,” says Jean-Marc Haessig, creative director at Black Forest Games, as it’s revealed the remake features all-new animation, which includes “some nice gimmicks like gestures when using Crypto’s psi abilities.”

It means when we’re once again trying to take over 1950s Earth as the diminutive alien Crypto-137, battling the Men-InBlack-like Majestic organisation, and harvesting human DNA for the Furon race, everything plays better than we remember. The developer has made gameplay changes to bring Destroy All Humans! into the modern era. The game now has mission checkpoints, more dynamic movement, and much tighter controls.

“We also buffed some weapons that we felt to be underutilised to be viable as a mainstay. Furthermore, the weapon upgrades include additional functionality instead of simple stat boosts,” explains Haessig as he reveals improvements and additions made for the sequel, such as Transmog and Drain abilities, are in this remake.

ASTRO-NUT

The original game featured six locations ripe for destruction, including riffs on Santa Monica, Area 51, and Washington DC. For this remake we’re getting tweaks to these maps. For example, the mission where we need to find broadcaster Bert Whither has been expanded to include a totally new island facility.

Each map is a destructible playground, and a big part of the original game’s draw was discovering new ways to tear apart this 1950s pastiche. The remake doubles down on our ability to enact playful destruction by enabling us to mix psi powers with alien weapons – using telekinesis we can throw an Ion Detonator grenade at one soldier while zapping another.

“Our designer’s goal is for each weapon or ability to have the potential to become a player’s favoured tool of destruction,” says Haessig.

“WE REMEMBER EXTRACTING BRAINS FROM A HUMAN’S ANUS.”

You’re given alien tools of destruction to create carnage in 1950s America – what’s not to love about this?

Above You can mix weapons and psi powers to create unrivalled destruction. Area 51, we’re taking you down.

You could never achieve this level of fine detail, such as realistic sand, on the humble PS2.

Left It’s rare to find an openworld game being remade, but Crypto-137’s return looks lovely on PS4.

Above Years of watching The X-Files has taught us aliens love playing with cows. Mess with its bovine brain!