SAINTS ROW: THE THIRD REMASTERED At last! Proof that purple truly is the manliest colour
Casting our minds back to 2011 feels like extending a sore muscle; thinking back to the things I thought were cool at the ripe old age of 18 makes me wince. Grand Theft Auto had gone through its own growing pains, beginning to take itself very seriously with the release of IV a few years before. A number of GTA clones followed suit with mixed results. But one series decided to take things in the opposite direction.
From the second game Saints Row mutated away from its donor DNA, ending up closer to a B-movie romp than a serious gangster flick.
The third of its name then leaned all the way in, almost losing its balance under the weight of its papier-maché Johnny Gat bobblehead mask.
This remaster does more than just resurrect an old favourite for modern systems. Close to 4,000 assets have been reworked for this PS4 release – that’s cars tuned up, guns remodelled, and large chunks of the city of Steelport redeveloped. This tender loving care is apparent throughout, making every single Saint look extra-shiny. With all DLC included, that gives you plenty of weapons and outfits to mess around with from the start as well as a heap of post-game content. This, on top of the freedom the base game always gave you, makes for a tightly packed, definitive package that’s difficult to resist.
WILLY-WAVING
@KoeniginKatze
Your freedom means more than merely choosing whether to wield the mind-controlling Mollusk Launcher or purple penis bat. Yes, you can create a supermodel version of yourself. You could also make someone that looks just a little closer to the reality – double chin slider and all! There’s more than enough potential to create a unique-looking gang boss who’s slightly more interesting than someone who’s stepped straight out of the safe but samey corners of Instagram.
Unfortunately, what ends up feeling samey instead is the city itself. Walking around town outside of closedoff activities, you run into opposing gang members and maybe even have to fend off a horde of rampaging mascots outside of the costume store you own for some reason. But beyond the rival gangs, the streets lack interesting signs of life. There are collectibles to find, but we’re not compelled to explore. Rather, we stumble across them. Considering the larger-than-life personalities who dominate the cast, it’s a
“GO TO TOWN ON THE, UM, TOWN WITH AN INFINITE SUPPLY OF HAND GRENADES.”
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Gunplay, much like everything else, doesn’t take itself too seriously.
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Missions are varied and worth the replay. Blowing it all up is oddly therapeutic.