Which game will you be playing with your Valentine?
just one more question… the team debate this month’s burning issue
THINGS WILL BE HEATING UP… IN OVERCOOKED’S UNDERSTAFFED KITCHENS.
After seven years of marriage, sparks will definitely still be flying in my house this Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately it may be because between me washing plates and the wife chopping lettuce in Team17’s crazy culinary co-op comedy, we’ll both forget about the burger patties on the stove until towering flames have engulfed half our kitchen and probably a few of the diners, too. (Serves them right for taking their dates out for burgers on Valentine’s – why not some spicy pizza action, guys?) Sorry neighbours, there will be loud cries of “GRAB THE BUNS!” through our walls. Now, which way’s the oven?
THE LAST GUARDIAN WILL GIVE ME THE PETTING EXPERIENCE I’VE BEEN WAITING AGES FOR.
Fun fact: my partner and I are desperate for a cat. Honestly, every dinner conversation circles around to how and when we can adopt a kitty to call our own. So instead of dinner and a movie, we’ll be plumping for catbird Trico and an evening on the sofa. It makes sense. Trico’s cheaper than a real-life moggie, certainly more interesting to look at thanks to the wings on its back, and it’s actually useful – as much as I love my old cat Whiskey, I don’t remember her offering me her tail to swing on at any point, let alone helping in any fights. Plus, I don’t need to take out insurance on a disc.
WHAT COULD BE MORE ROMANTIC THAN SAVING YOUR LOVED ONE IN KEEP TALKING AND NOBODY EXPLODES?
Picture the scene. I’ve donned the headset, and my other half has the manual strewn across the floor. The deathly timer has already started its inevitable countdown to explode o’clock, but we’ve done the symbol and Morse code panels in good time. “Good work! Things are going well, darling,” I offer. “This is definitely a relationship maker rather than a break… OH MY GOD IT’S THE COMPLICATED WIRE PUZZLE!” Cue much paper shuffling, shouting and tears. BOOM! And just like that, my romantic hopes for the evening lie in tatters, like so many shredded defusal pages.
PERSONA 5 BROKE MY HEART. BUT I BELIEVE THERE’S LIFE – ER, DEATH – AFTER LOVE.
Sure, I might be Team OPM’s resident singleton – but I had my Valentine’s Day planned out well in advance. Droolworthy JRPG Persona 5’s 14 Feb release was set to kindly provide the eye-candy and gimme some Shadow-battling sugar… until it got delayed to April. Yep, I got stood up by a videogame. (I’ll admit this is not how I pictured my life turning out.) Fortunately, there’s a timely replacement: brutal Souls-like Nioh. Not only is it just the sort of gaming challenge I’m head-overheels for, but I actually played the first free demo alongside my long-time crush – perhaps it’s our chance to reconnect…