#YOUAREINTERRUPTINGMYVACATION.

SHOCKING DISPLAY My friend, who’s a nurse in an emergency department, was telling me about a patient who arrived with a gash in his head. Apparently the man was a farmer, and he and his son were working in a field when he’d felt a stone in his boot. He’s tried to shake his foot to work the stone out but – finding it difficult to keep his balance – he decided to hold onto a fence pole.

The son, looking up from what he was doing, noticed his father standing on one leg shaking vigorously and thought he was holding onto the electrified fence.

Grasping a large stick, the son whacked his dad to break his hold on the fence, causing the injury to his head.

Stitches were required to mend the wound, although I’m not sure if the father and son’s relationship is mended yet. NOT HERE RIGHT NOW Planning on being away from your desk for a while? Borrow one of these tried-and-true out-of-office messages: ■ “I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the job.” ■ “Hi. I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.” ■ “I’m not in the office right now, but if it’s important, tweet me using BOOK HIM When I returned a recipe book to my local library, the librarian noticed there was water damage to the book and asked me to pay for it. I agreed, but as I wasn’t carrying any money, I said that I would pay next time I was in.

There was a different librarian on duty the next day when I dropped by with the money. She swiped my library card and my account came up on the computer screen.

In the “notes” section, it read: “Customer says he’ll hand in the $20 next time, but I don’t think he will.”