TO THE MOON

“In honour of America’s space programme, my child‑hating first- grade teacher divides the class into three groups: stars, rockets and moons.

Despite being a moon, I easily identify the low‑ability group. But even among the moons, I’m a bad moon. My report card says that I don’t apply myself as a student, but it also questions my potential in case I do try.

Now, my mom and dad don’t actually apply themselves as parents, but even if they did, there’s no way they could know that I have severe ADD, because it doesn’t exist yet, especially the quiet kind. One morning I notice that my classmates have all brought in five different leaf species. I assume it’s a coincidence.

But then I look up at the nearest star – Kathy Welt. Her yellow folder says Leaf Day, and I’m like, I don’t know it yet, but this moment will repeat itself in various forms throughout my life.

So I request bathroom permission, and the teacher, Miss Ross, says, “Are you just trying to go outside to pick leaves?” And I say, “No.” And she says, “Do you know what deception is?”

And I’m like, “No,” which is true. I don’t. Hello, I’m a moon.