Life’s Like That

Reader's Digest Asia Pacific - - Contents -

Wil­fred J. Funk, pres­i­dent of dic­tionary pub­lish­ers Funk & Wag­nall and cre­ator of RD’s sec­tion ‘It Pays to In­crease Your Word Power’, would have mixed feel­ings about this 70-year-old let­ter.

Mo­tor­ing along the main high­way late one night, I stopped for a cup of cof­fee at one of the din­ers fre­quented by truck driv­ers. Seated next to me at the counter was a burly driver with a ham­burger in one hand and a cur­rent Reader’s Di­gest in the other, ab­sorbed in ‘It Pays to In­crease Your Word Power’. As he fin­ished his ham­burger he looked up and met my won­der­ing stare.

‘This guy Funk has sure taught me a lot,’ he said. ‘You should see the faces of those Sun­day driv­ers when I in­sult them with those high-class words!’ SUB­MIT­TED BY W.F. MOR­TIMER 7 FA­THER’S DAY LESSONS FROM LESSEXPERIENCED DADS 1. You can never have too much fun with your kid: “When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall look­ing fran­tic.” CO­ME­DIAN STEVEN WRIGHT 2. Al­ways set aside time for you and your an­gels: “Well, it’s 1am. Bet­ter go home and spend some qual­ity time with the kids.” TV DAD HOMER SIMP­SON

3. If there’s only one thing you learn: “Never change di­a­pers in mid­stream.” CO­ME­DIAN HARRY GIL­BERT

4. Might as well have a gag­gle: “The man with six kids will al­ways be hap­pier than the man with six mil­lion dol­lars be­cause the man with six mil­lion dol­lars al­ways wants more.” AU­THOR WIL­LIAM FEATHER 5. You’re the gate­keeper: “Pretty sure my main job as a fa­ther of daugh­ters is to make sure none of them be­come con­tes­tants on The Bach­e­lor.” @ANDREWOSENGA ON TWIT­TER 6. Gush over ev­ery gift your child be­stows upon you: “I have mixed emo­tions when I re­ceive my Fa­ther’s Day gifts. I’m glad my chil­dren re­mem­ber me; I’m dis­ap­pointed that they ac­tu­ally think I dress that way.” CO­ME­DIAN MIKE DU­GAN 7. De­vise a plan to deal with your fu­ture grumpy ado­les­cent: “When your chil­dren are teenagers, it is im­por­tant to have a dog so that some­one in the house is happy to see you.” WRITER NORA EPHRON

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