A Birthday Like No Other
I was dreading my lockdown birthday. How would I celebrate my milestone year sans party, cake and gifts?
What kind of fun could it be in lockdown?
An old saying notes that ‘man makes plans and God laughs’. I imagine God cracking up when he heard my husband and I out l ining our game plan to celebrate our milestone birthdays. Hiking Mount Kilimanjaro was one option. Riding elephants in Thailand ran a close second. Sitting in our backyard during a pandemic didn’t make the top ten, surprisingly enough, but that’s where we ended up. I will always remember my quarantine birthday as the day I made eye contact with a red cardinal bird, my heart cracked wide open, and for one stunning moment, I saw the world and all its wonders in high definition. Equipped with my new superpowers, I got a front-row seat to see a few things that had eluded my pre-pandemic eyes.
A friend surprised me by getting up at 4.30am to place a sign outside my house that read, ‘Honk to wish Stacey Happy Birthday’.
My dog put his head on my lap
when I logged on to read the dreadful daily news.
My family got me f luffy slippers and a pink bathrobe that looked like the ones I used to wrap around them when they were babies.
Every act of kindness made my heart go thump.
Sitting in my backyard listening to a bird concert, I noticed how tall the pine trees had grown over the years. I saw a red cardinal staring at me with the gaze of someone I missed. I wondered why I had been staring at a screen for so much of the time when there is a magic show on my patio?
My off icial birthday outf it was my favourite pair of yoga pants and a hoodie with a heart, the perfect wardrobe to march around my neighbourhood and greet the nearby trees and flowers. No make-up, no shapewear, but I felt resplendent in my unapologetic freedom.
That may be an exaggeration, but I did feel the sadness in the world pulse through my body and shed a shower of tears. I belong to a world
that is going through a difficult time. I am glad to be part of the human race and pledge to be an agent of light and hope in its transformation.
As I sat on the patio in my backyard, I realised that outside of my inner circle of true friends and family, no one cares what I am doing. They are too busy curating their life on social media to read my latest post. While no one was looking, I let my eyes close in the soft spring breeze. When I opened them I saw the blue sky in high definition. In lieu of a cake, my daughter rolled a small ball of biscuit dough and stuck a candle in it. I gobbled it up quickly, then remembered no one was watching. Now, I am writing about it with pride.
What am I waiting for? I need to bid adieu to people that can’t shine until they blow out my light. I must toss those high school hip-hugger jeans that are not meant for a grown woman. I promise to look at my phone less and see how I can help repair the world more.
Up until my quarantine birthday, my prior celebrations were carefully choreographed, brimming with people and presents. This year I awoke with no specific plans and let the day unfold slowly and spontaneously. I shared stillness, serenity, laughter and tears with family.
At the end of the day, my dog looked up at me with eyes that said, She finally gets it. I really don’t know what the next day or the rest of my life will bring. And that is just fine.
THIS YEAR I AWOKE WITH NO SPECIFIC PLANS AND LET THE DAY UNFOLD