THE FORBIDDEN ZONE
The weird world of unlicensed Apes cash-ins
SARU NO GUNDAN
How Japan’s Tsubaraya Productions got away with making this 1974/1975 TV series without being sued boggles the mind. Twenty-six episodes long, it sees a lab assistant and two kids waking in an ape-ruled future after being accidentally cryogenically frozen. A feature-length cut put together by a US producer in the late ’80s, titled Time Of The Apes, later became the subject of mockery on Mystery Science Theater 3000.
O TRAPALHÃO NO PLANALTO DOS MACACOS
That’s Bunglers On The Plateau Of
The Apes in Portuguese. A Brazilian comedy troupe were behind this slapstick-heavy, feature-length 1976 spoof, in which the heroes land a balloon on a remote plateau ruled by talking apes, and are threatened with being converted into simians.
PLANET OF THE BABES
With grim inevitability, not one but three porno cash-ins arrived in the wake of Tim Burton’s Apes remake. First came this 2001 effort, with its “hilarious” twists on character names like Dr Zaius (Dr Anus) and Cornelius (sigh… Cocknelius). Play-Mate Of The
Apes and Planet Of The Erotic Ape followed. The latter did at least raise a smile with the tagline “Get your hands on me you damn dirty ape!”