The Flash
The speedster gets Scripteased
Opening monologue over
clips of Barry running randomly through Central City. Cut to coffee shop. BARRY is at a table with STAR Labs scientists CISCO and CAITLIN, and adoptive dad, JOE, a cop. Enter IRIS, Joe’s daughter. She’s in a strop. Iris: You lied to me. And you. Everybody’s lying. It’s not fair. Joe: Who do you love, Iris? Barry or my cop partner Eddie? Iris: Eddie of course. Everybody else: Liar, liar, pants on fire… Exit IRIS. In a strop. Barry’s phone rings. Doctor Wells ( over the phone): A metahuman is attacking Central City Aquarium. Exit BARRY in a flash Cut to Aquarium. A man dressed as a janitor is wrecking the place. This is [ INSERT REAL NAME OF MINOR DC CHARACTER]. He is sweating profusely. Enter BARRY, in a flash. Barry: Hey man, buy some antiperspirant. BARRY and [ INSERT NAME] fight but [ INSERT NAME] keeps turning into liquid, so Barry can’t hit him. [ INSERT NAME]: I used to work here and everybody ignored me. Barry: Stop being so wet. [ INSERT NAME]: You know Spider- Man does better quips, right? [ INSERT NAME] vanishes down a drain.
bonus features
Reunion: The Flash reunites Prison Break ’s Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell as partners- in- crime Captain Cold and Heat Wave.
Cover- up: In one episode Barry has a very oddly- shaped bruise on his ribs. That was to cover up Grant Gustin’s tattoo of his home state of Virginia.
In- Jokes: Look out for repeated use of the number 52 – it ’s a reference to DC’s current New 52 line of comic books.
Relative Values: The Flash features Robbie Amell, cousin of Arrow actor Stephen Amell, as one half of Firestorm.
Best Line: Wells: “You have shown me what it ’s like to have a son. But to me, you’ve been dead for centuries.” Cut to STAR Labs. Wells: You need to be faster, Barry. More speed! Barry: [ INSERT NAME] kept turning into yellow water. Cisco: Let’s call him Golden Shower! Caitlin: Um… no let’s not, Cisco. Cisco: But I always name the villains. Caitlin: Just Google it… Barry: I need you to invent me something. Cisco: The Hyper Hose! But you’ll have to run really fast to make it work. Barry: Of course. Cut to aquarium. [ INSERT NAME] is back. Enter Barry with the Hyper Hose. Barry: There’s a goldfish bowl with your name on it. Barry runs really fast around [ INSERT NAME] wrapping him in the Hyper Hose. Enter Reverse- Flash looking blurry and yellow and not a bit like Dr Wells. Barry: It’s you! You killed my mum! Reverse- Flash: I’m not Wells. Honest. Enter IRIS. In a strop. Iris: Liar! Cue NEXT WEEK montage. Dave Golder