Da Vinci’s Demons
Religious war with a punky twist
UK Broadcast Fox UK, finished
US Broadcast Starz, finished
Episodes Reviewed 3.01- 3.10
The story so far: for two seasons LEONARDO has been part-Renaissance superhero/ part Renaissance- era Moffat- style Sherlock who can build super inventions overnight and work stuff out real fast. It’s all been jolly hi- jinks and Indiana Jones styles adventure. But now two new threats have arrived: the Ottoman army – who have somehow nicked all the designs for his inventions – and a new showrunner who’s convinced everyone that Da Vinci’s Demons must be a serious drama.
LEO The Ottomans have my tanks. Italy is doomed. Excuse me while I get depressed for half the season.
THE OTTOMANS Excuse us while we kill both your parents so you can do some real angsty acting.
LEO “To be or not to be… Is this a clockwork dagger I see before me, its on- switch towards my constantly twitching finger?”
ZORASTER ( Leo’s best MATE) Excuse me while I act like a blokey, jokey, remnant from the old seasons and kick Leo up the arse for being a navel- gazing show- off. INVENT SOMETHING TO BEAT THE TURKS, YOU DOLT!
Meanwhile in Rome, the false Pope eats babies and kicks puppies while a new religious cult, the Labyrinth – under the guidance of the Architect – brainwashes Riario.
RIARIO Mumble, mumble, mumble.
THE ARCHITECT You were nearly heroic last season so we’ll scramble your brain so you can be randomly evil all over again.
RIARIO Mumble, mumble, mumble.
THE ARCHITECT Yes, you carry on mumbling while I try to work out if all this stuff about “Labyrinth” and “Architect” is a bizarre Matrix reference.
Meanwhile in the writers’ room…
NEW SHOWRUNNER Good drama is all about family. Everyone must have a mummy and/ or daddy issue. Even the mummies and daddies! Except
Lorenzo. He can be captured and tortured again. Because torture porn is good drama too. In fact, torture EVERYONE!
OTHER WRITERS Isn’t this all getting a bit samey?
NEW SHOWRUNNER Hmmm, maybe. You know what we really need? The return of Vlad the Impaler!
OTHER WRITERS Isn’t he one of the cheesy, silly elements from season one we’re trying to get away from?
NEW SHOWRUNNER Maybe we can give him family issues?
OTHER WRITERS This needs to end… NOW!
Back in the plot, Leo gets it together and defeats the Ottoman empire with a lightning machine.
THE END Dave Golder