SHADOWHUNTERS

Meet Clary The Demon Slayer

UK Broadcast Netflix, finished US Broadcast Freeform, finished Episodes Reviewed 1.01- 1.10

A blonde redhead walks through the nighttime streets of Sunnydale New York when she is attacked by a vampire demon. But she unexpectedly fights back and defeats the creature, for she is CLARY THE DEMON SLAYER.

Enter geeky guy.

SIMON Bu… Sorry, Clary, are you alright?

CLARY I can handle myself, Xan… Simon. Ever since I’ve become the Chosen, erm, Shadowhunter, killing demons is just peachy. How are you handling being a vampire?

SIMON Cool. Do fancy me now?

CLARY Eeeewwwww, no, nerd boy. I’m no fangbanger.

SIMON Psssst – that’s True

Blood. We can’t rip that one off too…

CLARY [ Looking at the body of the demon] What do you think it was after?

SIMON The Mortal Cup, of course. Everyone in this show is after the Mortal Cup. The vampires, the werewolves, the warlocks, the Women’s Institute, Indiana Jones…

CLARY It is, after all, the ONE ORIGINAL IDEA.

SIMON Well, I wouldn’t go that far…

Later at the SHADOWHUNTER HQ, lots of teens in leathers cross their arms and frown.

JACE I think Clary is the key to everything.

ALEC I think she’s an irritating cliché. IZZY Will you quit squabbling?!

ALEC It’s not fair! I want a bromance, but Jace just thinks I stare at him adoringly because he thinks everybody stares at him adoringly.

Enter CLARY. Everybody crosses their arms.

CLARY Anyone located my evil dad yet?

JACE No, but let me give you loads more exposition about how he’s an evil rogue Shadowhunter while giving you a few footnotes about Seelies 1 along the way, because world- building in this show is 90% info- dumping.

Demons burst in…

JACE How did they get past our defences?

CLARY I must have left the front door open.

ALEC Girls.

MAGNUS does big fish, little fish, then purple light erupts from his fingers and destroys the demons.

MAGNUS Done and dusted.

CLARY Hey, dusted! Isn’t that from…?

LAWYERS CUT! Dave Golder