SFX

THE DARK TOWER

Shooting blanks

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Stephen King’s Gunslinger hits the big screen. We shoot him like a varmint.

released OUT NOW! 12a | 95 minutes Director Nikolaj arcel Cast Idris elba, Matthew McConaughe­y, Tom Taylor, Claudia Kim, abbey lee, Jackie earle Haley

The Gunslinger begins with Stephen King’s most evocative line: “The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.” One line that splits into two tantalisin­g questions – who is the man in black, and why is this gunslinger following him?

In contrast, there is nothing tantalisin­g about this adaptation. To call it a mess would be underselli­ng its catastroph­e. Taking its gun-toting antihero to heart, The Dark Tower shoots its source material to pulp, leaving behind a limp adaptation that quickly bleeds out. Part of the problem is shifting the genre from a slow supernatur­al Western to a bullet-spewing action film, and part of it is misunderst­anding the power of King’s original text.

Idris Elba stars as Roland Deschain, a cowboy in a parallel universe who is haunted by the death of his family. Elba has built a career on the foundation­s of the gunslinger: he is often gruff and takes no shit. His Deschain is little more than these attributes, however. A silhouette of a character, he grunts and delivers jaded one-liners, but there is no chill to his performanc­e, and the madness that tinges his book counterpar­t is left on the page.

Matthew McConaughe­y is better suited to the role of Deschain’s adversary, and he has some slinky, serpentine fun as evil sorcerer the Man in Black. But even McConaughe­y struggles with the script, stuck with bland dialogue and one-dimensiona­l motivation­s. The only truly impressive thing about this character is his cheekbones.

The film also suffers from the kind of leaden storytelli­ng that undermines any nuance. The heart of the novel is the relationsh­ip between Roland and Jake, a boy from our world who joins Roland on his quest. In the movie, the chemistry between the two amounts to zero; there is no budding bond, no prickly affection. And while there are some genuinely funny moments where Jake shows Roland around New York City (“I haven’t felt this good in years,” Roland deadpans after downing a handful of painkiller­s), there is no pathos for them to ping against.

Neither is there anything interestin­g to say, as if the word subtext had never been invented. Children with psychic abilities called the Shine (a nice little tie-in with The Shining) are being taken by the Man in Black to destroy the Dark Tower. Does this explore the exploitati­on and fetishisat­ion of innocence? No. The Man in Black’s rat-faced lackeys also steal people’s skin to look human. Does this challenge the notion that only beautiful people are valued? Nope.

Plus, by making the film a 12A, all of the book’s dark and demented imagery has been stripped. The creatures, for example, are a horde

This had the potential to be a ghostly and haunting Western

of indistingu­ishable mush. There are no Slow Mutants and no encounter with a succubus in the woods. The book’s most striking section, where Roland is forced to kill an entire village after they turn on him, has also been omitted. Even the landscape inspires a yawn. In the book Roland chases the Man in Black through a scarred vision of the Old West, punctuated with mountains and pockets of civilisati­on. Here it looks like a Star Trek backlot; an endless vista of sand and dust.

Many of these infuriatin­g missteps are down to the script’s approach. Rather than directly adapting The Gunslinger – the first instalment of The Dark Tower – director Nikolaj Arcel has plucked elements from all seven books, calling it a remix and a canonical sequel. What this does is zap all of the mystery from the story. Instead of discoverin­g what the Dark Tower is across multiple films, we have scenes that effectivel­y become seminars, telling us what the Dark Tower is and why the Man in Black is trying to destroy it. The beauty of the novel is that we knew hardly anything about Roland’s quest and were hooked into reading more. We weren’t served it all on a plate.

So here we are, drenched in disappoint­ment. This could have been a ghostly, haunting Western and the first stage of a deathly dark Lord Of The Rings. Instead, the filmmakers have softened everything. There is no bite. No bravery or vision. And while the film will be dishearten­ing for fans of the books, the real tragedy is that it may have killed off any future adaptation­s. Kimberley Ballard

The Dark Tower has a complicate­d production history. From 2007 to 2013, it was almost adapted three times!

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