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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was a thing called the “Ex­panded Uni­verse” (ba­si­cally, a place where all our Star Wars pals got up to all sorts of new ad­ven­tures, fol­low­ing the events of Re­turn Of The Jedi). On 25 April 2014, mil­lions of voices cried out and were sud­denly si­lenced when Dis­ney de­cided to scrap the en­tire EU, bin­ning Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie’s post-Jedi lives as non-canon.

Still, they can’t wipe our minds like we’re droids or some­thing – we re­mem­ber ex­actly what hap­pened to Luke Sky­walker in the EU. Mainly be­cause it’s sort of in­sane.

It all started sen­si­bly enough. Luke cel­e­brated his Death Star II vic­tory by es­tab­lish­ing the New Jedi Or­der on Yavin 4. Han and Leia’s twins, Jaina and Ja­cen Solo, even­tu­ally joined un­cle Luke to train as Jedi ap­pren­tices. In a fairly mas­sive co­in­ci­dence, Luke met and fell in love with Pal­pa­tine’s for­mer as­sas­sin (who ig­nored Pal­pa­tine’s fi­nal wish that she should kill Luke) Mara Jade, who Luke trains as a Jedi (oh yeah, she’s also Force sen­si­tive). They even­tu­ally get mar­ried and have a baby, which they name Ben, af­ter Ben Kenobi.

Un­for­tu­nately, this is where things start to get re­ally nutty – the Em­peror is res­ur­rected via clones (don’t ask), and de­cides to have an­other go at tempt­ing Luke to the dark side, which this time Luke AC­CEPTS. But it turns out he’s try­ing to de­stroy the Sith from within, and he’s even­tu­ally able to re­ject the dark side and de­stroy the Em­pire, yay!

Sadly, Luke’s nephew Ja­cen Solo turns to the dark side and kills Luke’s wife, Mara Jade. Luke de­feats Ja­cen’s Sith Lord, Lu­miya, and Ja­cen’s twin sis­ter, Jaina, du­els with (and kills!) Ja­cen.

The Jedi are out­lawed, and Luke and Ben travel the galaxy as ex­iles, fight­ing Sith. Even­tu­ally, Luke passes away, be­com­ing one with the Force… Sam Ashurst

The am­phib­ian Care­tak­ers live on Ahch-To with Luke. It’s an emo­tional mo­ment when Rey gives Luke his lost ’saber.

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