SABER RATTLING

ELEGANT RIPOFFS FOR A MORE SHAMELESS AGE

starcrash

Future icon of irony David Hasselhoff wielded a suspiciously familiar weapon in this brazen Italian Star Wars knock-off from 1978. Did George Lucas steal his shonky droid opponent for The Phantom Menace as payback? No.

thundarr the barbarian

Set in the post-apocalyptic America of 3994 AD, this Saturday morning ‘toon armed its fur-clad hero with a “sunsword”. It could cut through anything – yes, even the heart of Jacob Rees-Mogg – and repelled magic.

mobile suit Gundam

As this early mecha anime proved, any insanely cool giant robot becomes exponentially cooler with the addition of a lightsaber. The blade uses superheated Minovsky particle plasma. Don’t argue.

halo

The classic videogame includes an Energy Sword in its arsenal. Regarded as a sacred weapon by the Sangheili, this close-quarters plasma blade may only be used by nobility. Bloody toffs.

jay and silent bob strike back

Inhale the Force! Slacker king Kevin Smith swings the Bong Saber against none other than Mark Hamill in this Gen x epic. Also comes in double-bong variant for the ultimate high.

doctor who

1978’s “The Androids Of Tara” delivers some swashbuckling “electro-sword” action. Alas the perilous state of the budget ensured only the occasional flash of Fx from these old-school rapiers. Nick Setchfield