Penny Dreadful
SFX's high priestess of horror
In which monsters aren’t scary but lovely old ladies and human fallibility really are
ROCK ON
I want to play a game. The game is, how can we make another Saw movie be a good thing in a time when it feels like original, intelligent horror is having a heyday? Last month it was revealed that Chris Rock would be behind a Saw spin-off slated for 2020. He won’t direct (that’ll be Darren Lynn Bousman, who made Saw II, III and IV); instead he’ll be “reinvigorating the brand with his wit, creative vision and passion for this classic horror franchise”, according to Lionsgate chairman Joe Drake. Maybe this is a good thing – after all, I’d never have believed Jordan Peele would be able to change the face of modern horror if you’d asked me five years ago. And before you chastise me for equating the two because of race please ping me your long list of African-American comedians in charge of major horror properties. Slashers might be out of fashion, but this franchise has had a huge impact regardless of critical distaste. The Saw films don’t have to be cheap and nasty, so I’m not going to write this off yet. Saw 9 at Oscars 2021. Now that’d rock!
SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL NETFLIX CURIO ALERT!
Errementari: The Blacksmith And The Devil is an odd but enjoyable Basque fantasy folk horror based on an old myth about a blacksmith who makes a deal with the Devil, and a young orphan girl who becomes a hero to save her beheaded doll. Tonally odd, it’s the feature debut of Paul Urkijo Alijo, who mixes myth, monsters and bizarre humour in this goodlooking fable that plays with grey areas and is a refreshing change from almost anything else in the horror sphere right now. Pan’s Labyrinth this is not, but it does feature a demon who looks like a red version of the Judderman, can be tormented with chickpeas and bells, and utters threats like, “I will eat your thumbs while you sleep.” Flawed but oddly compelling.
CLOWNING AROUND
It was only a matter of time. Ever since sharks were mashed together with extreme weather, a clown has been destined to cross paths with a tornado. Clownado sees cursed demon clowns somehow using tornadoes to orchestrate a massacre. Hilarious, I’m sure. The trailer’s online but skip that and check out the brilliant teaser for It:
Chapter 2 instead, which up-ends the jump-cut montage format in exchange for one extended, terrifying scene of Jessica Chastain’s grown-up Beverley talking to Joan Gregson’s nice old lady, to incredibly creepy effect. Coming in September, this looks like classy, quality, grown-up horror and (unlike the second part of the TV miniseries) actually frightening.
MONSTER MESS
I’d rather spend time with a hurri-clown or a chickpeaphobic imp than have to endure the enormous tedium that was Godzilla: King Of The Monsters
again. What a noisy, boring mess. After the convoluted pseudoscience start, the ridiculous character motivation and some dark, badly choreographed action, the film is the cinematic equivalent of a kid bashing two plastic dinosaur toys together over the top of a bunch of Lego figures. Director Michael Dougherty definitely knows better after the excellent Trick ‘r Treat and not-bad Krampus. Next up is Godzilla vs
Kong, and I’m hoping the apeman kicks ’zilla’s scaly butt. For kaiju wonder with a point, and a message, and a sense of humour, skip this and check out Nacho Vigalondo’s underrated Colossal, starring Anne Hathaway.