FANTASY ISLAND

RELEASED OUT NOW! 2020 | 15 | DVD/download

Director Jeff Wadlow

Cast Michael Peña, Maggie Q,

Lucy Hale, Austin Stowell

Battleships remains the leading example of a movie with no apparent reason to exist beyond brand recognition bar charts, but Fantasy Island gives it a good run for its money. Was anyone crying out for a Blumhouse take on the Ricardo Montalbán TV show? What percentage of the target demographic have even seen an episode?

If you have, fear not: someone shouts “The plane!”, and a character turns out to have the nickname Tattoo. As in the late–’70s series, we see people visiting an island, where a white-suited man named Roarke makes their fantasies come true. But then it all goes careful-what-you-wish-for bad.

Sadly, barring sequences featuring a hulking, stitch-faced torturer, the film is almost completely bereft of scares. It probably has more in common with Lost – and certain twists are just as implausible. The Amicus anthology-esque revelation that all five guests have a connection works; the villain reveal really doesn’t. Still, if nothing else the film offers the tantalising possibility of a Little House On The Prairie reboot with robots and lasers.

Extras Choose between theatrical and unrated cuts. The latter is all of 18 seconds longer, and comes with a commentary by the director and seven cast, which is at times surprisingly sober. Six deleted scenes include two substantial extra scare sequences. Ian Berriman