TOTAL RECALL
All aboard the nostalgia rollercoaster as we revisit TV’s
Dungeons & Dragons.
Forget Game Of Thrones (what do you mean, you already have?). I grew up loving an epic dragon-filled fantasy and nothing’s ever going to beat it. Dungeons & Dragons was a Marvel Productions cartoon, based on TSR’s roleplaying game of the same name. The series, which ran for 27 episodes over three seasons from 1983, saw six American children transported to the realm of Dungeons & Dragons via a magical theme park ride.
Each granted a powerful weapon by their guide the Dungeon Master, the kids are joined by Uni the baby unicorn as they search for a way home. Along the way, evil wizard Venger seeks to steal their weapons in order to increase his power – when he’s not doing battle with five-headed dragon Tiamat, of course. Venger – voiced by Peter Cullen, aka Optimus Prime, no less – is a winged, one-horned demon in some kind of dress, who’s going to great lengths to fly around on an evil horse to get his hands on a bunch of accessories. He’s assisted by the simpering yet conniving Shadow Demon, the original shady queen.
The show ended on a cliffhanger. The planned final episode “Requiem”, which revealed Venger to be Dungeon Master’s son, was only “officially” produced in radio drama format for the now-deleted Region 1 DVD release – and the kids never got home.
But… what if they didn’t have a home to go to? What if they died on the ride and now they were stuck in hell – a high-fantasy purgatory? I loved this bleak, fan-fuelled interpretation of the show when I discovered it years later.
Not only was the series bleak, it was dark. One episode, where the kids contemplate killing Venger in order to secure their path home (“The Dragon’s Graveyard”), met with heavy resistance from the Broadcast Standards and Practices people. I’d never have given that a thought as a kid – why wouldn’t they try to kill the villain? And in general, the series came under fire from lobbyists.
Looking back now, it feels incredibly sad as, inevitably, the friends repeatedly have to sacrifice their freedom in favour of others after being put through relentless, gruelling attacks and dangerous encounters. It’s a wonderful slice of ’80s melancholia that’s able to transport me to another place and time.
You shall know Darren’s newest face by his white hair.