POWERFUL FRIENDS
DAVE was bragging to his boss one day. “I know everyone there is to know,” he said. “Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff. “Okay Dave, how about Tom Cruise?”
“No dramas boss,” Dave replied. “Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”
So Dave and his boss flew out to Hollywood and knocked on Tom Cruise’s door. “Dave! What’s happening?” Cruise yelled on opening the door. “Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!”
Although impressed, Dave’s boss was still sceptical. After they left Cruise’s house, he told Dave that him knowing Cruise was just lucky. “Well, name someone else,” Dave said. “Prime Minister Turnbull,” his boss quickly retorted.
“Yup,” Dave said, “old buddies. Let’s fly out to Canberra!”
And off they went. At Parliament House, Turnbull spotted Dave and motioned him and his boss over, saying: “Dave, what a surprise! I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in. Let’s have a beer first and catch up.”
Well, the boss was very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they left Parliament House he expressed his doubts to Dave, who again implored him to name someone else. “Pope Francis,” his boss replied. “Sure!” Dave said. “I’ve known the Pope for years.”
So off they flew to Rome. Dave and his boss were assembled with the masses at St Peter’s Square in the Vatican, when Dave said: “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” With that, he disappeared into the crowd.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerged with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time he returned, he found that his boss had suffered a heart attack and was surrounded by paramedics. Making his way to his boss’s side, Dave asked him: “What happened?”
His boss looked up and said: “It was the final straw – you and the Pope came out onto the balcony and the man next to me said: ‘Who the hell is that on the balcony with Dave?’”
Eino Emmorl, email