DIRTY STUFF

control, but runs clutches in the transbrake (unlike the later versions that run a band).

A Waterman Big Bertha pump takes care of fuel supply to the engine, with a Pro Mag 44 lighting the alcohol mix.

While Craig has a bunch of people that help him at the track – too numerous to mention – Sam Fenech at Westend Performance does the engine machining and initial assembly, while Craig’s own team do the teardowns at the track between rounds.

“We are trying to do more and more ourselves so we can learn and be more comfortable with the intricacies of the car,” Craig explains. “Initially it was quite overwhelming; there’s a lot going on under the hood. Jeff Cutajar from Kapiris Brothers Racing not only does the tuning, but has also been integral in getting the team on track – from tuning and maintenance, fuel system and wiring, down to little things like the tools we need.”

Craig had a lot of success with the brand-new Mustang straight off the bat. “The first time the car drove under its own power was firing it up in the tunnel at Sydney Dragway,” he says. “After the burnout I got used to the brakes, and even on the first pass it ran a 1.1 in the 60-foot, sheared the bolts in the top pulley of the blower and still rolled through to a 6.4@170mph.”

In just a very short time, the Mustang has earned its stripes as one of the toughest radial cars in the country, with a best quarter-mile time of 6.03@248mph and a 3.90@191mph over the eighth. Its capacity to lay down endless threesecond passes is testament to the quality of the build and the people involved in the car.

“If you put the effort into doing it right, you will get rewarded,” Craig says. “That’s the message s I wanted to get through to my boys.”

OLD mate called in last week saying he had an electrical problem in his heavily reworked EH wagon. I see him now and again revving the ring out of his 202 six as he cruises the streets. I asked him what the problem was, and as soon as he told me, I couldn’t shut up from laughing. “My alternator isn’t charging, and the starter doesn’t work anymore. Damn thing threw a conrod right through the side of the block and took out the alternator!”

Talking about truant alternators, when I worked with a long-time auto electrician, one day a bloke brought in a Holden-made Sunbird, the ones powered by the almost forgotten Starfire four-pot engine. This was mostly Australian-designed, based on the 149/179 bits but with its own special conrods, and it used to vibrate really badly. Anyway, the bloke said: “The red light is on in the instrument panel; I think it’s not charging the battery. Can you check it please?” So I got out my multimeter while he popped the bonnet, and then I looked in the engine bay.

I couldn’t see the Lucas alternator anywhere. These were normally mounted on the upper left side of the engine, and there was nothing except for the rubber-bushed mounting points (thought necessary by the designers to cope with the massive vibrations produced by the four cylinders). I could see broken primary wires, and it was obvious that the electricity generator had been shaken loose and was now lying somewhere back on the road.

I asked if he had heard anything or felt a bump as he was driving and he said: “No, it just drove normally. Can you fit another one?” We had a Lucas, so we fitted that, and as he drove away, I wondered when and if he would be back once the Starfire four dropped another one off!

I used to do many call-out jobs that involved breaking into cars where their drivers had locked in their keys. All I needed was two lengths of welding wire with a small hook on one end to slide down into the door between the outer metal and closed glass. The aim was to hook under the door-lock lever and pull it up to unlock.

I got really good at that, but there were a few funny moments. Like the guy in the almost-new Mercedes coupe, locked up tight in the middle of Surfers Paradise. I drove this German bloke to where his car was parked, and he insisted all the way that I would never break into his car with two bits of welding wire. After all, his car was a Mercedes, the world’s best transport, and I would surely have to break the window glass.

I shut up and said nothing until we got there and I began to push wire down inside the driver’s door. That took about one minute, as I hooked the lock first go. When I opened the door, this bloke went right off! He jumped up and down and let out a few swears that startled the spectators, shouting that even his world’s best car was too easy to steal. I thought: “This guy is so mad, he might just punch me!” He didn’t; he paid his bill and drove away, still with a look of horror on his face.

But VW Beetles were different – the ones with the dak-dak horizontal air-cooled engine. Had a call-out to a block of nearby units, where some idiot had parked his Hitler’s Wonder in the residents’ only driveway, locked the doors and walked away. They needed it shifted so they could get in and out. Got my wires, tried everything I knew about latching onto the door levers, and failed miserably. Only thing now was to lift out the back window and get the car open that way.

Halfway through this exercise, the owner turned up to be met with a torrent of abuse from the unit people, so he couldn’t say anything about me almost breaking into his dak-dak and waited while I refitted the halfway-out rear window. And the idiot did pay the bill!

The Kiwis had another method. In a lot of locked cars, they would actually pull the top of the driver’s window away from the body frame by about 50mm, so they could slide their wires in and down and hook onto the door-lock knob. These ‘snipper’ knobs were in most cars up until about 40 years back; you just pushed the plastic knob down to lock the door. Hook onto that and lift; the door would open and a relieved owner would drive away.

I knew how to hotwire car engines, but was rarely asked. I had to be careful in case the owner wasn’t legit and I would be helping a tea-leaf to steal a car. Never happened, but it was possible. And years ago, an Australian manufacturer brought out a kit of break-in tools, consisting of two shaped flat thin bars that did the same job as my wires. Caused a huge furore in the press, although they claimed these tools would only be sold to garages. The pressure was so great that these useful kits were quickly withdrawn!

THESE STARFIRE FOURPOTS USED TO VIBRATE REALLY BADLY. IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT THE ALTERNATOR HAD BEEN SHAKEN LOOSE AND WAS NOW LYING SOMEWHERE BACK ON THE ROAD