Lisa Machin discusses the battle of a break-up... and getting back up

Love, love what a beautiful thing. Until it’s gone.

Then it has this way of convincing you your whole worth was built around that love.

The only way out of such a state is hard, personal work. But don’t despair, this actually becomes enjoyable and empowering once you get the ball rolling.

So here are my tips after a big break-up. 1) Conserve your energy:

There’s only one way to deal with this: immediately start declining social invitations that don’t serve you or nourish you in some way.

Cut yourself some slack. Sleep in instead, listen to some of your favourite music, and allow yourself to recover.

2) Jam the hamster wheel: Possibly the worst thing about splitting up with someone you love is the circular thinking you can get stuck in.

What made you laugh in happier times? Good, download that. Play it.

The mind can be taught to change its behaviour. 3) Reconnect with your support pillars: Life is busy these days and sometimes friends need a nudge. Explain the situation simply – “I’m really struggling at the moment, it would be great if we could take the dogs for a walk together.” 4) Look back and smile: This can be the hardest step, and may not be possible until you’ve dealt with hurt, confusion and anger first. However it’s part of your healing. If you can, reflect on times you shared together that were special. This is part of letting go of them.