Bushranger
Follow the leader
WHILE the world is watching in apprehension how Donald Trump’s rule over the US unfolds, one NT Pollie has decided to head over and see it all first hand. Fledgling MLA Selena Uibo arrived in Washington DC during the week to take part in a three-week international leadership program run by the US Department of State Works. Apparently, the program is aimed at helping to “create robust democracies in the United States and around the world.” If Ms Uibo returns to Australia yelling “you’re fired” and jabbering about fake news and “nasty women” we can know she was paying attention.
Overheard on Nine News
“WATERFALLS are literally overflowing.” That’s, literally, what they do.
Get stuffed
SRI-Lankan born taxidermist Keerthi Eswaran once adopted five cats from animal rehoming charities within a week, sparking suspicion and a police investigation. Late last year his Howard Springs home was raided by wildlife officers, who found hundreds of animal body parts. Bushranger has not been able to contact Eswaran since. A spy will be dispatched to the Australian Taxidermy championships next month
Comes with the Territory
DARWIN is right on Asia’s doorstep. It means Territorians can enjoy the sights, sounds and cuisines of Asia on whatever long weekend they want to. Bushranger used to prefer Bali, but thinks Singapore will be the next trip. The main reason: KFC Singapore are now serving up Chizza. Colonel Sanders has out- done himself: a pizza with a base made of fried chicken.
Flaming hell
SCUMBAG murderer Danny Deacon is hoping the courts will gift him a retrial. Deacon fell for an undercover sting which made him comfortable enough to confess to murdering Carlie Sinclair. The whole shebang was called Operation Samburu. In the Court of Criminal Appeal this week, hotshot lawyer Jon Tippett QC stumbled over the name of the police operation: “Operation ... ahh, umm, Sambucca” he said.
What’s in a name?
WHAT the bloody hell a Samburu anyway? Bushranger has done some digging and has found out that the Samburu are an African tribe most notable for starring in Kevin Bacon’s 1994 comedy The Air Up There.
European vacation
CHIEF Minister Michael Gunner has returned from his European Vacation and he wants you to know it. In his time away, approximately every car has been stolen in Darwin. The average home has also been broken into four times. Among his important tasks this week were checking out the cops’ new tyre spikes. He’s also spent up big, but claims the budget will still return to surplus. Perhaps his treasury boffins have had their calculators stolen by local teenage crime gangs?
Meeting of the minds
THE good folk of Palmerston are unhappy at their cars being stolen and houses being broken into, among other things. At a crime forum this week, one Palmo local urged the NT Police to “go soft” on plant-based drugs. She claimed this strategy would enable the boys in blue to focus on the “ice” epidemic. She asked Superintendent Tony Deutrom about his thoughts on the matter. Tony was pretty clear — drugs are drugs, he said.
Icy reception
AT the same meeting Independent Member for Nelson Gerry Wood spoke about how he’d handed out a lot of awards and icy poles to kids in his role and rarely got a “thank you”. He thinks the youth need more respect. Bushranger thinks Woodsy should introduce a “no thanks, no icy pole” policy. The last memorable insight Gerry offered about troubled youth was when he offered to help install a chook farm at Don Dale. “Animals can play an important part in rehabilitation,” he said. “Chooks will not hurt anyone and the inmates can have fresh eggs for breakfast.”
Family fun
THE charming Dylan Voller got out of jail last week. On Thursday, him mum Joanne appeared in Alice Springs Local Court charged with assaulting a worker and disorderly behaviour. Sister Kira reckons her mum hasn’t been charged with anything, according to a testy phone call to the NT News.
A conflict of interest
OUR story about Mollie Bruce, who smiled and dropped a “hang loose” symbol outside of court during the week, generated a fair bit of discussion. Mollie was first made famous on Territory Cops. It didn’t pass without mention that Mollie’s story was authored by Craig Dunlop, Bachelor of the Year loser, who also made a cameo on the cop series.