Bushranger

Tickets please

FORMER CLP pollie and future Mayor of Darwin Mick Palmer was busy at a council meeting last week when he was hit with a parking fine. Showing he’s mellowed with age, Mr Palmer sucked it up and paid the $40. He’s clearly chilled since the 1990s, when, according to urban legend, he removed his false teeth and placed them in a schooner of beer before headbutting a reporter he’d had a gutful of.

Sell, sell, sell ...

REAL estate has been struggling the past couple of years but we didn’t think it was getting this bad. While advertising a commercial property in Darwin, one hopeful real estate agent advertised an office as having its own toilet, kitchenette, ceiling and a ducted airconditioning unit. I don’t think anyone would be paying $497,250 for an office without a ceiling, but in this market, who knows.

Cannot sell, sell, sell ...

IS Darwin’s love affair with Jess Mauboy over? Tickets for her April concert are being flogged off at a steep discount online. There were also lots of empty seats at the Violent Femmes gig last Monday.

Tinfoil hats

THE conspiracy theorists were at it again this week, unfortunately on the television, where they yabbered away about how Bradley Murdoch was probably innocent of murdering Peter Falconio (despite, you know, the overwhelming evidence). Bushranger would like to put things straight: Murdoch is a scumbag who deserves every second of jail time he was handed. Meanwhile, the man who presided over the trial, former Chief Justice Brian (Ross) Martin has taken up a part time gig on the Tasmanian Supreme Court. He’s famous for the trifecta of the “trial of the century” in WA, South Australia and the NT. Perhaps he’s hoping to go four-from-four in Tassie.

Mail bag

BUSHRANGER was recently sent a piece of Northern Territory literary history in the mail, The Lion of Senet by Jennifer Fallon. She acknowledges the assistance of the Grand Man himself, former Attorney-General John Elferink. “Once again, I have ... to thank ... John and Toni-Maree Elferink for knowing way too much about the human body and what happens when you do terrible things to it,” she says. The mind truly does boggle. The Elf is expected to be back in Darwin for in late April, where he’s going to cop a grilling in front of Mick Gooda and Margaret White’s Royal Commission.

I-N-T-E-G-R-I-T-Y

BARNSTORMING Katherine pollie Sandra Nelson should be on her way back from Paris this very moment, where she went to a conference about stopping corruption. Her attendance will cost Territorians $4000. She described corruption as “a divisive and destructible force”. Bushranger is not quite sure how corruption is “divisive”, unless she’s referring to all the travel agents and political staffers who thought a bit of corruption was just bloody great.

Active protesters

A WORD of warning to all Territory politicians — if there’s one group of people you don’t want to piss off, it’s women in activewear. They are highly organised, determined and chock full of endorphins, making them formidable opponents. Palmerston City Council is finding this out first-hand as they try to shut the Palmerston YMCA. A protest at the facility held yesterday was probably the Territory’s most well organised and efficient demonstration ever held. They could easily take over the nation in an afternoon if they fancied. Give ‘ em what they want.

Oh XXXX!

WHILE Cyclone Debbie caused countless millions in damage in Queensland, another disaster struck — the XXXX Gold brewery caught fire. Thankfully for fans of beer that tastes like dishwater, there will be “no disruption to supply”. Stay strong Queensland.

Closing the gap

Chief Minister Michael Gunner has been fighting the good fight this week on Facebook, goading Federal Treasurer Scott Morrison over the $2 billion in cuts the Territory is facing over the next four years. If anger can be measured in capital letters, then Mr Gunner is angry. “The focus MUST be Developing The North and Closing the Gap on indigenous advantage,” he said. Bushranger has searched high and low and cannot find a single example of this “indigenous advantage” Mr Gunner is talking about.