Bushranger

Naked chef’s cutting wit

SPANISH celebrity chef Miguel Maestre, whose most famous press shot features him with the knife between his teeth, was looking for a prop for a photo earlier this week. The charismatic chef was offered a small steak knife which he clutched with enthusiasm. “It’s not the size, it’s how you use it,” Miguel announced with a cheeky wink. Here’s hoping the chef wasn’t alluding to any other small utensil.

Tasty morsel for women

STILL on Miguel Maestre, headlining the Territory Taste Festival. It seems he was forced to evacuate a private function early after being repeatedly mauled by overeager intoxicated Territory women. He pretended to take a call from his wife on his phone and removed himself, in one piece, with everyone’s dignity intact, but his shirt was a bit worse for wear.

Pay peanuts and you get

LIVING in the Territory can be expensive but the NT Police have proved they can stretch a dollar a long way. Police announced they would replace the ailing PROMIS software system that officers rely on for crucial information. Despite relief among the ranks that the now 20-year-old system would be replaced, it proved a bargain. Commissioner Reece Kershaw said NT Police bought the system for a solitary dollar in the late ’90s. Not bad considering how much it costs to upgrade an iPad these days.

It’s moments like these

HOW’S this for a Territory Taste Festival awkward moment? Crocodylus Park’s Gio- vanna Webb was on her way to be part of a croc cooking demonstration and stopped quickly to chat to a friend at the festival. Also sitting at the same table was another man, who clearly looked uncomfortable like he wanted to be anywhere but there. It was Ron Greaves, the senior Education Department public servant caught by Casuarina police with a whole bunch of Ms Webb’s missing Territory election posters at his house, which by the way is across the road from the police station.

Story gets even better

ISN’T it nice when worlds collide? Former chief minister Adam Giles fronted up to the royal commission into youth justice this week. Also making an appearance this week, albeit tangentially, was his partner and mother of his two children Phoebe Stewart. A story written by Phoebe in 2008 while she worked as a journalist at this newspaper was tendered as evidence. The headline of that story was “Teens in jail sex romp”. Great yarn, Phoebe.

Nuisance exposed in court

DARWIN’S Rubbish Warrior is back behind bars for contempt of court. The notoriously argumentative Trevor Jenkins appeared from Holtze prison via video link in Darwin Local Court on Friday, claiming: “This is another part of my ‘ nuisance’ file.” Before court began, he demanded a legal aid lawyer send him documents so he could file an appeal, declared NT barrister Mark Thomas would represent him and told the court to “get ( NT News journalist) Craig Dunlop in here” because he wanted more media exposure.

Anything but chilled

AEROPLANE? What aeroplane? While showing journalists around Darwin High School for the funding announcement earlier this week, principal Trevor Read took the pack past the chiller, which cools the buildings and is situated in the centre of the school grounds. Bushranger’s spies remarked how noisy it was and Mr Read said it was like standing on the tarmac at an airport. Indeed it was and it’s dumbfounding how anyone gets anything done with the racket it makes.

Nigel no-wreath eyes DIY

ONE NT senator appeared worried he may be missing his wreath at the Anzac Day dawn service on Tuesday. Nigel Scullion was seen walking quickly to a bushier area of the Esplanade, returning with a long, leafy and bendy eucalyptus branch, held in a circle. He quickly dropped the branch on return to his seat, presumably after seeing he had a perfectly made wreath there already.

Bombs away at lake resort

FORMER CLP candidate and Lake Bennett Resort owner Carolyn Reynolds is afraid of North Korea’s supreme leader, Kim JongUn. Mr Kim has threatened to go nuclear and has Darwin in his sights. Ms Reynolds said on Facebook: “Territorians called me crazy when I suggested the idea of building underwater hotel rooms at Lake Bennett.” She said she had been blasted across a room by lightning. “A nuclear strike by North Korea on Darwin would be soooooooooo much worse than a lightning strike,” she said. “Come and join me as we build bunkers (and) underwater hotel rooms, not just political bridges.”