HAYLEY SORENSEN

down. As reported in that Fairfax piece, anaesthetists are considering a bold move to ensure they get the respect they deserve.

They want to change the name of their profession – from anaesthetist to anaesthesiologist.

The “ology” implies special knowledge and research, Australian and New Zealand College of Anaesthetists president Professor David Scott told Fairfax.

One could argue the “Professor” in his title implied that, but a handful of extra vowels is sure to do the job.

It would probably be cheaper and easier for anaesthetists to just buy themselves diamond-encrusted name tags that read “NOT A NURSE”, but that could be seen as a bit too vulgar.

They might be mistaken as members of the nouveau riche. Or surgeons.

The shift to anaesthesiologist is a courageous public relations move and one I didn’t realise was an option.

If I earned $285,000 a year you could call me whatever the hell you liked, but as I don’t, I’m considering a similar tactic.

There are few parts of my job that give me the same glee I get from striking out the capital letters in the lofty titles people give themselves. But the sheer audacity of a move to completely change the name of an entire profession made me think perhaps I was wrong.

I did my own quick poll and the results were shocking. Zero out of 10 people I surveyed thought I was a doctor. To be fair, I’m not a doctor, technically speaking. But I’d quite like people to think I was.

I’ve put in a request with the office manager for new business cards and have already started introducing myself to people by my new title – journalologist.

Sure, it’s a mouthful and a crime against the English language, but I feel my new suffix aptly conveys my special level of knowledge and insight, and satisfies my enormously high opinion of myself.

DISCLAIMER – Hayley Sorensen thinks all anaesthetists/anaesthesiologists are wonderful, smart, warm and caring people. If she winds up on your operating table, please knock her out completely.