Bushranger
Greecing the wheels of justice
THE Northern Territory is in the grip of a crime crisis. Our jails are overflowing thanks largely to grog, meth and violence. Alice Springs is the stabbing capital of the world and the regular school holiday spike in property crime is in full swing. Where, you might ask, is Supreme Court Chief Justice Michael Grant? Last week, he was at a knees-up (aka legal conference) on the sunny Greek island of Rhodes. On Thursday he presented a nodoubt thrilling paper, “Citizenship, Allegiance and Government Office – Constitutional Prescriptions from the Ancient Greeks to Today”. Coincidentally or not, some fed-up residents of Palmerston told Bushranger they wanted to reintroduce the Ancient Athenian punishment of belting criminals to death with a club.
The show must go on
ABC Radio sent intrepid correspondent Rob Baird to The Narrows on Monday, to speak with local resident Bob White and council alderman Andrew Arthur. The segment began as everyone’s favourite, quintessentially Darwin genre of local radio: whingeing about a lousy government department. Things became yet more quintessentially Darwin from there, when a grog-fuelled fight broke out in the background. The intrepid correspondent kept the show going though, narrating the fight for listeners at home. “Jesus,” he said. “There’s a fight that’s broken out with crutches. It would be funny if it weren’t so serious.”
NAIDOC ball questions
THE ever-so-flash Hilton Darwin was the location of last night’s black-tie NAIDOC ball. The venue – and the $160-a-head ticket price – caused quite a few grumbles throughout the Territory. One gentleman, whose Territory roots stretch back 60,000 years or so, remarked to Bushranger that events such as that created a schism between the “up- town blacks” and the “downtown blacks” whose lives are a million miles away from fancy black-tie balls. He suggested it would be more appropriate to hold an awards ceremony at a footy oval, where everyone could join in and celebrate the accomplishments of our terrific indigenous community members.
Ducking lot of puns
AFTER the horrific news of an ‘abducktion’ in Humpty Doo yesterday, NT News Facebook fans went quackers for a good pun. Plucking lines from outer space, some readers even gave our editors a run for their money with their headline ideas.
Dead Dees?
BUSHIE is a betting man and he’s heard strong whispers that Melbourne may not be back to play games in the Territory. We all know their contract has expired but sources reckon the Dees, now they are showing signs of being a genuine top-eight team, might be looking at some bigger fish to fry and may be happy to sacrifice their NT matches. Watch this space.
Jack not so recognisable
JOHNNY Farnham flew into town on Friday for One Tropical Day. The legendary singer was barely recognisable to the public as he strolled through the airport. Wind it back 20 years and he would’ve been mobbed.
WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE WEEK: Goes to the punter who blew $20,000 in six hours. Not only was it a stupid thing to do, he thought it was a good idea to take the bookmaker to task, saying he was drunk and under the influence of medication so they shouldn’t have allowed him to place bets.