Bushranger

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Lawyer looks like a tosser

ONE young lawyer got a little embarrassed this week while sitting in court next to a journo. While intending to open his emails on his iPad and, presumably, catch up on some work, he opened his mail app. First email to open? “Suggested for you by PornHub”. With the banner taking up most of the iPad’s screen, the young professional reportedly went very red and scrambled to cover his screen. Yes sir, your viewing habits were spotted.

Not so subtle

FORMER minister Ken Vowles might have spent his time over the Christmas break with a little bit of reading after what was a hectic final week of 2018 for him. Mark Manson’s

The Subtle Art of not giving a F***k can be seen on the internal window to his fifth floor office — whether he’s making a good reading recommendation to his colleagues or he’s expressing his current state of mind, we’re not entirely sure but judging by his spicy comments recently it’s fair to say he’s picked up a thing or two.

Signs of true love

BUSHRANGER is a true romantic and loves pouring over the Valentine’s Day messages in the paper every year. Among this year’s most heart-warming messages: “You are the maple syrup to my bacon”, “If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, I’d be in a higher tax bracket” and “Thanks for making time for me in between MAFS episodes”.

Can’t talk the talk

IT’S fair to say new Agriculture Minister Paul

Kirby is still finding his feet in the role. He was lobbed a softball question in parliament on Thursday by backbencher Tony Sievers and used the opportunity to spruik the great things being done by Territory primary producers, including our grain industry. Unfortunately, he got a bit caught out on the pronunciation of quinoa. FYI Kirbs, it’s keen- WAH, not kee-NO-a. The hipster cafes in his Port Darwin electorate would be outraged.

Canteen mutiny

LUCKY it was a nailbiting game between the Darwin Buffaloes and Waratah at Gardens Oval yesterday, because spectators weren’t hitting the canteen for tucker. Reminiscing on the top-notch gravy found at the TIO canteen, one footy fan said she had given up all together on meat pies at the footy. “It’s a health choice … the times have moved on,” Bushie was told.

Low blow just not right

AQUA frontman René Dif, who entertained crowds in Darwin last Sunday, got a little carried away when a fan was taking some happy snaps of him on stage. The 51-year-old, best known for singing the ‘Ken’ lyrics in Barbie

Girl, grabbed the phone from the fan and popped it down his pants. Little bit gross, even by Bushranger’s low standards.

What’s in a name?

BUSHIE was perusing the history books this week and learning about Patrick Cahill. The notorious Cahills Crossing is named after him, where watching cars get washed into fast-flowing croc infested waters is a kind of spectator sport. Fittingly, the Australian Dic

tionary of Biography describes Cahill as a having been a “sometimes careless” chap.