Bushranger

Laying down the law

THE Chief Minister does not muck around when it comes to exercising the proper coughing and sneezing etiquette. During a press conference this week about coronavirus that was being live-streamed to hundreds of people online, Michael Gunner stopped to chastise a journalist who didn’t cover up his cough properly. “Mate, do it into your elbow next time,” he told the journo before returning to what he had been saying.

Every word’s a gem

ONE of Bushie’s spies spotted a sign with some tips for transcribers in the stenographers’ office at the Supreme Court this week that are bound to raise the ire of some of our more loquacious lawyers. “Try to break sentences up particularly when counsel go on at length, even if it means commencing a sentence with an ‘and’ or a ‘but’,” it read. Perish the thought.

Handball goes hands off

THE Darwin High handball league has become the latest sport to come up dunce to coronavirus. The competitive lunchtime league, which was almost cancelled several years ago when a staff member got hit, has had to once again be stopped. Despite sanitising the tennis ball and hands and abiding by the 1.5m distancing rule in the line-up, the beloved game has been axed. Bushie hopes the league can get back up and running in the near future.

Some sweet memories

DURING the madness of the coronavirus crisis this week, Opposition Leader Lia Finocchiaro took a moment in Parliament to reminisce about the good old days, recalling fond memories of “riding our bikes to buy a bag of 10-cent lollies”. “I do not think you can buy many lollies for 10 cents now,” she said. “I used to get quite a bang for my buck from the Gray shop. You could get a lot of salty plums back in the 1990s for 10 cents.” Simpler times.

A little initial confusion

THE general manager of Darwin’s Holtze prison Jon Francis-Jones declared his affiliation with a somewhat contradictory club while being cross-examined in court this week: “I’m a founding member of AAA – the Anti Acronym Association,” he said.

Loving the isolation

WHILE the coronavirus crisis has crippled some businesses, others are finding it quite helpful to sell some stock. One Territory public servant discovered websites like LoveHoney and Sexyland were offering massive discounts on certain products, to make sure people could enjoy their quarantine and self-isolation periods.

Suffering for his art

RESIDENT artist Trevor Jenkins is regularly spotted around town, often dressing up in different outfits. This week he was spotted taking the coronavirus risk very seriously in a hazmat suit. Stay safe Trevor, Darwinites are generally fans of your art.