Bushranger
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CLOCK’S TICKING
TIMELINESS is next to godliness, as the saying goes, and on that front the government may be needing to repent. Last week a press minder for a government minister called not once but twice to confirm that journalists would be at a press conference scheduled for 10am. As we all can attest, journalists are punctual and professional beings. They were there at 10am. Parks and Wildlife Minister Selena Uibo? Still nowhere to be seen close to 11am. Brilliant!
THEY’RE FIGHTING ALL RIGHT
SOLOMON voters better prepare, because politicians are fighting over them. In the red corner, chief dork and Labor incumbent Luke Gosling, whose campaign slogan is “Fighting for the North”. In the blue/orange corner, former cattle rancher and CLP insurgent Tina MacFarlane, who released a campaign video with the slogans “Fighting for Small Business/ Territorians/You”. Meanwhile, voters are left Fighting for an Original Campaign Slogan.
LOCAL PIE
WHEN a Bushie spy was asked for an ID at the Adelaide River Pub recently, a local couldn’t help but to brag about how he no longer needed to show his licence. “Nah, they don’t ID me any more here, I’m a local. Plus, I have a face that looks like a dropped pie.”
WHAT’S THE POINT
CINEMA-GOERS were left puzzled after they saw a man enter the theatre and sit through a screening of the film Dog, not once looking up from his phone. Among activities he was seen doing on his device was bouncing between social media platforms.
DISUNITED NT BUSINESSES
ANTI-RESTRICTION movement United NT Businesses was the butt of its own joke this week after it tried to do April Fools. It took to Facebook to herald the end of all Covid-19 restrictions in the Northern Territory, saying the group had sat down for a tea and scones with the Chief Minister, Health Minister and astronaut wannabe CHO Hugh Heggie. The only problem? No one really thought it was funny, not even the “United” businesses. The post was ripped down and an apology issued, saying it “highlighted what should be happening”. One follower lost the faith, saying it wasn’t funny to joke about “such a sensitive topic”.