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CRIME DOESN’T PAY

AN ALLEGED fuel thief has whined to the court about the cost of driving to and from the Darwin courthouse. The Noonamah man told the Darwin Local Court on Tuesday that he had only topped up his tank with $10 of fuel in an alleged petrol drive-off. Yet after multiple appearances — each requiring a one hour and 15 minute round trip into the city — he had now spent $40 on petrol. He asked the court to allow him to appear virtually in the court for his next hearing to avoid another trip to the bowser.

SWEET AND SOUR

A BORED reporter waiting for alleged perps to show up at the courthouse has invented a new game. It is not unusual for camera-shy crims to try to wait out journalists after their hearings – leaving patient reporters and camera people waiting in the sun by the doors. In these long waits, one journalist has invented a game they’ve named “sweet or sour”. They said the rules of the game were simple. As legal teams leave the courthouse wish them a “Good morning”. If they responded with a greeting, they are sweet. If there was no response they were counted as a “sour”. They said the aim of the game

w was to get more “sweets” than “sours”.

BITING INTO THE COURT’S TIME

JUDGES hear a lot of excuses for hearings being delayed, but one this week really took the bait.

A man accused of two counts of obtaining benefit by deception told the Darwin Local Court he needed more time to find a lawyer. When Judge John Neill asked why he was not more prepared, the man said he had spent the last month in hospital. “I was bit by a shark, your honour. A tiger shark,” he told the court. “That’s one of the better excuses that I’ve heard,” a surprised Mr Neill replied.

COURT DRUNK TANK

THE LAWYER of a drunk driver said his client’s time before the court had been a “sobering experience”.

Now facing a potential licence suspension, demerit points and a driver’s ed course one can only say ‘better late than never’.

IN WITH THE NEW

BEMUSED is how some people felt about the choice of speaker for the CLP’s central council meeting. It was Marshall Perron, the same former chief minister who recently blasted the party for walking away from Voluntary Assisted Dying law reform.