Bushranger

COLD SHOULDER

NATASHA Fyles has a reputation for being punctual, but that reputation certainly wasn’t on display on Friday. The Chief Minister was half an hour late to a citizenship ceremony in Alice Springs, leaving some of the nation’s newest Australians shivering outside on a cold Red Centre morning. There was uproar, with the most outspoken among them being Robyn Lambley. She took to Facebook to brand the unprecedented delay “extremely rude”. “She gave no apology for keeping us all waiting.”

CROC BAIT

THEY say that crocs love chicken, but when coming face-to-face with a 5m apex predator, it turns out chicken fillets are unhelpful. When a Sydney Drag Queen attempted to submerge while doing Crocsaurus’ Cage of Death, it was her foamy fillets that kept her afloat.

TERRITORY WAY ON TERRITORY DAY

AFTER crackers exploded into a grass fire, locals all rushed to extinguish it using some Territory classics; rubber thongs, a box that once held explosives and dousing some XXXX beer on the flames. Emergency services arrived a

short time later ... thankfully.

HOT WHEELS

TROUBLE arrived on two wheels on Saturday, which almost saw a press conference with the Chief Minister and two NBL players derailed. A security guard from the Darwin Waterfront pedalled up on his bike to Fylesy’s press conference announcing the NBL would hold its pre-season blitz here. With a gruff face, there were concerns he would crash the press conference. But Mr Security Guard held himself until about 10 milliseconds after the media event ended, before yelling “OK does anyone have a permit for this?”

Thankfully, someone did.

But, mate, it’s the Chief Minister, it’s the NBL, and you’re a healthier version of Paul Blart, Mall Cop.

Take it down a notch.

BAD SIGN

BUSHRANGER isn’t sure which branch of government was responsible for road signs in Humpty Doo, but whoever is doesn’t have an eye for detail. Mudlark Rd was erroneously labelled as Mudlack Rd on one sign, leading someone on Facebook to conclude it was “back to school for this mob”.

Hope the mail still gets delivered!