TWO POINT HOSPITAL

GOOD FOR WHAT AILS YOU. US$34.99 | PC | www.twopointhospital.com

Few games enjoy as fond a place in the collective memory as Theme Hospital, a ’90s management sim elevated to classic status thanks to its gleefully satirical humour. Recreating that magic is an ambitious aim, but Two Point Studios – founded by Bullfrog veterans – takes it on with confidence, skill, and a flair for the ridiculous.

For anyone unfamiliar with the premise: Two Point Hospital casts you as a strikingly mercenary hospital administrator, whose job it is to build up your medical facilities room by room in order to cure an everwidening pool of bizarre diseases – and, in the process, maximise your profit at every step along each patient’s journey. Charmingly British take-down of the American healthcare system, or a terrifying glimpse into the NHS’ future? We couldn’t possibly comment.

With illnesses ranging from ‘light headedness’ (which turns your bonce into a giant lightbulb) to ‘mock star’ (convincing yourself you’re Freddie Mercury), the game’s sense of humour is spot-on, aided by brilliantly expressive animations for diagnosis and treatments. Combined with the witty in-game radio station, populated by an array of authentically barmy local DJ types, we find ourselves chuckling far more than anyone probably should in a hospital with this many fatalities.

For any fan of its spirital predecessor, Two Point Hospital is that rarest of games that is simply exactly what you want it to be, no more, no less. If you’ve been suffering from Bullfrog defiency since 1997, you’ll find it the perfect cure – a nostalgia injection, right to the heart.

A gentle learning curve prevents the surprisingly deep systems from becoming overwhelming.

Each room has a huge amount of customisation options, allowing you to tweak its attractiveness, hygiene, prestige, and even temperature.