Sister’s heartbreak: I tried to keep her safe
Susan’s sister fled an abusive relationship, then her ex did something unfathomable
Susan Bruce, 28, Reporoa, NZ
Flapping her arms about while pulling silly faces, my sister Katie had my son in stitches.
Little Kahn idolised his aunty. It was as if she had a super power where she could make any baby laugh.
But when Katie was 17, she started dating Scott Millar, 23, and everything changed.
When she brought him to meet me, I had a bad feeling.
‘Have you got any kids?’ I asked him.
At that, Katie and Scott looked at each other.
‘I was in prison for pouring petrol on my ex and trying to set her alight,’ he laughed. ‘So I don’t see my daughter.’
I was in complete shock. Was he bragging about it?
‘What are you doing with a guy like this?’ I said to Katie.
But she was clearly blinded by love.
The next day, Scott came to collect her and she moved in with him.
‘Call me any time,’ I told her repeatedly.
And she did – whenever Scott beat her.
In tears, I’d pick her up and bring her home.
She’d tell me that, as well as the violence, Scott controlled what she wore, how many showers she could have and even when she was allowed to shave her legs.
‘I can’t keep seeing you like this,’ I sobbed.
I begged her to report him to the police, but Scott always knew the right thing to say to get her back.
When they’d been together for a few years, Katie fell pregnant. She was so excited.
‘What does it feel like to be a mum, sis?’ she asked.
‘You’ll have unconditional love forever,’ I told her.
In December 2016, Katie gave birth to a son, Ash, then a few weeks later she called.
‘I want to come home,’ she said.
Back with me and my fiancé Anthony, Katie asked me to help her finish her
‘I can’t keep seeing you like this,’ I sobbed
relationship with Scott for good. So I sent a text from her phone.
I’m not going to be abused anymore, it said.
After that, the old Katie started to come back.
My maid of honour, she was helping me plan my wedding. And with her super power, she was always making Ash giggle.
Once a week, Scott would visit Ash at our place, as long as Anthony or I were in.
Then, in March 2017, he came for the night.
Katie told him she’d sleep on the sofa so he could stay in the bedroom with Ash and do the feeds.
But Scott insisted he stay in the lounge with Katie.
‘You came here for Ash,’ I told him.
Then I walked down the hallway and turned back.
‘Wake me up if you need me, sis,’ I said to Katie.
I fell asleep as soon as my
head hit the pillow. Next thing I knew, Anthony was shaking me around 2.30am. ‘There’s a fire!’ he shouted. As Anthony raced to grab Kahn, eight, from his bed, I ran into the hallway.
To my horror, the lounge and dining room were engulfed in flames and windows were smashing all over the house.
Then I saw Scott was alight and heard his bloodcurdling screams. Anthony dragged him outside and doused him with a hose.
‘My son, my son!’ Scott cried. ‘The oil heater blew up.’
‘What about my sister?’ I screamed.
Anthony was trying to get in to reach Katie, but when he opened the front door there was a huge explosion.
Desperate, I tried as well, but the heat was too much.
‘I have to save her!’ I cried, hysterical.
‘Mummy, you can’t,’ Kahn said, dragging my hand. ‘You won’t come out.’
I knew he was right. The whole place was burning down in front of our eyes.
My beautiful sister, 20, and sweet four-month-old nephew were gone.
At hospital, Anthony was treated for smoke inhalation and, inconsolable, I was given drugs to help me sleep.
When I woke up, a police officer told me Scott was so badly burned he wasn’t going to make it.
‘Can I say goodbye to him?’ I said, thinking it had been an awful accident.
Wheeled to his side, I held his hand.
‘I’m so sorry for what happened,’ I said.
Scott passed away and two days later two officers came to take a statement.
They told me an oil heater hadn’t caused the fire.
‘We believe it was set deliberately,’ one said.
Scott was their suspect.
Breaking down, I felt ill.
I comforted my sister’s killer. I didn’t think I’d ever forgive myself. Life was unbearable without Katie and Ash.
I shouldn’t have left her alone, I tortured myself.
I’d tried to keep her safe and I couldn’t.
In March this year, coroner Wallace Bain released his findings. He said that before
The rooms were engulfed in flames
meeting Katie, Scott’s previous relationship ended due to his verbal abuse.
He’d smeared petrol on the face and chest of his ex, and went to prison.
His report said with Katie ‘there were ongoing domestic violence issues’.
He concluded Scott had intended to kill Katie in the fire, but not himself or Ash. How could he be so evil? I’m having counselling, but I’m still struggling. I want everyone to know Katie was an amazing sister and the best mum.
With Ash, she was the happiest she’d ever been.
I’m trying to stay strong and I will live for them.
If you are experiencing abuse, call 1800 737 732 (Aus) or 0800 456 450 (NZ)