He’s a much stricter parent

Lead by example

Praise him when you think he has been good with the kids. He hasn’t learned how to deal with children, so by leading the way and not telling him off you should get through to him in the end. Patricia Milburn

One chance

These are his kids and he only gets one chance to do it right. Be clear you won’t put up with it anymore. Ask him how he feels when someone bigger threatens him. Vicki Daniel

We’re fine

We were all smacked as children and we all turned out fine. Nothing wrong with controlled discipline. Sheryl Locke

Lasting fear

Raising your voice can have a lasting impact on children. Treat every situation calmly so as not to instil fear. Gaylene Nichols

Do a course

Would he be open to doing a parenting course together? Deidre Pinder

He can change

It doesn’t have to be how he grew up. He should want to change the things he didn’t like about his childhood and make it better for the kids. Alana Kennison

Deal with the anger

Get some anger management before it is too late. Vivienne Graham

It’s wrong

It many countries, including New Zealand, hitting kids is against the law. Tell him that. Marin French

Get help

Many of us have different parenting ways. It’s about compromise. However, he doesn’t need to threaten or be aggressive. Maybe some counselling, after his own childhood, might help. Rachel Conway

Never hurt us

Kids need discipline. The soft approach isn’t working. A smack never hurt our generation. It taught us right from wrong and manners. Lee-anne Martin

He’s trying

You are doing the right thing by talking to him, but maybe tell the children their dad had a bad childhood and is trying hard to be a better person. Gail Bianconi

Consequences

Kids need boundaries and consequences. I smack mine rarely, but they know they’ve done wrong. Tina Dunn

Break the cycle

Your husband needs to own this. He needs to break the cycle or your kids will think this behaviour is accepted, which clearly it isn’t. Kids can test your limits, but as the adult he should know better. Deborah Ramsay

Toughen up

There’s nothing wrong with yelling. You need to harden up. Nerina Monis

Think of the kids

Remind him of his childhood and ask him if he really wishes the same for his kids. Lynette Bassani