that's life (Australia)

My near-death experience MADE ME A MUM

Walking away from a car wreck, changed Rachel’s life

- Rachel Toyer, 40, Adelaide, SA As told to Eva Lewicki

Shaking a pot of pink nail varnish, I took Sue’s frail hand in mine. ‘I’ll paint your nails,’

I told her.

‘Thanks, darling,’ she smiled, grateful.

Sue* was my friend’s mother. She lived in a nursing home as she had advanced Alzheimer’s.

I visited her every week and took in her three beloved cats.

Two years later when she passed away, I tearfully attended her funeral.

As I was driving home, a huge semi-trailer smashed into my car. The truck spun my vehicle around three times, then squashed it against the wall of the motorway. We were both doing about 110kmp/h.

My car rolled 50 metres down the highway. When it nally came to a halt, I opened my eyes, shocked at what had happened.

Dazed, I crawled out through my passenger window as my door wouldn’t open. The truck was gone – the driver had ed the scene.

I walked out into traf c, but cars kept whizzing by me. I called triple-0 but it felt as though the other person couldn’t hear me so I hung up.

Convinced I was dead, as nobody was stopping and the Emergency operator wasn’t responding to my voice, I wandered about 20 metres down the highway.

Then I lay down in a gutter and closed my eyes so I could go to heaven.

What followed was surreal. I felt very calm, peaceful and unafraid, but also disappoint­ed I’d never managed to be a mother.

This must have been why – to prevent the baby from being without a mum, I thought.

Suddenly I felt Sue’s presence enveloping me like a warm hug, and I knew everything would be all right.

A passing motorist saw my lifeless body on the side of the road and called an ambulance.

When the paramedics arrived, they couldn’t believe I was alive.

‘How did you survive that?’ they asked incredulou­s, pointing to my car. It was a total wreck, yet I didn’t have a scratch.

The regret I’d felt about not becoming a mother when I thought I was dead, sparked a dif cult conversati­on with my boyfriend. When it was clear he didn’t want to have kids, I left him.

At 34, I began IVF, and at 37, became a single mother by choice.

‘You’re beautiful,’ I told my son when he was born.

I’d wanted to have a child since I was 25, and couldn’t believe my dream had nally come true.

Arlo, now three, is a cheeky fun-loving little boy and the love of my life.

I share my adventures as a solo mum on Instagram at @solo_mum_survival to encourage other women who long to be mothers to consider doing it on their own before it’s too late.

That near-death experience changed my life. I’m convinced Sue’s spirit took care of me that day. Maybe she ensured my survival because she saw my disappoint­ment at not having been a mum.

Perhaps it’s thanks to her that Arlo is here. And that really is surreal. ●

Closing my eyes, I felt very calm, peaceful and unafraid

 ?? ?? Arlo and me
My son is the love of my life
Arlo and me My son is the love of my life

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