The rainbow twins healing hearts: after tragedy and loss, a Sydney family introduces the babies bringing them joy
When Doujon Zammit was brutally killed in Greece, his donated heart gave an Aussie dad new life. Now, despite yet another unimaginable tragedy, his family is ready to introduce its gorgeous twins to the world.
In so many ways Poppy and Kosta Gribilas are like doting parents of twin babies everywhere – exhausted and exhilarated in equal measure. But behind their smiles and joy lies heartbreaking sadness and pain. In the past eight years, they have ridden the highs and lows of tragedy followed by miraculous fortune constantly surging and ebbing through their lives.
At the heart of their story lies, well, a very special heart. That of an incredibly brave young Australian man, Doujon Zammit, the “angel” whose selfless gift not only saved Kosta’s life but also helped to bring three new lives into the world.
Kosta’s heart faltered when he was a young man, requiring a transplant to save his life. Yet it took the tragic death, halfway across the world, of Doujon Zammit, an Australian who died after a brutal bashing by a bouncer in 2008 – to make that a reality. What followed was a life-saving heart transplant, the joy of a new baby and then the horror of losing that baby, Konstantina, suddenly, aged just eight months.
Despite the new life they hold in their arms today, the pain of Konstantina’s loss three years ago haunts them. For Kosta, in particular, bonding with his twins became a struggle against uncertainty and grief. “It took me a long time to feel I was their father,” says Kosta, now 39, “to allow myself to smile, to hug and kiss them without holding back, and that came from the pain and guilt of losing Konstantina.
“We felt we were not allowed to be happy again, but happy doesn’t mean your heart and soul isn’t bleeding.”
Kosta’s candid revelations are too close for Poppy. She begins to cry. “You feel guilty because she left us as a baby and then you are holding these other babies,” she says, softly.
A miracle and two tragedies
We are sitting in the back room of the couple’s store, Blessed Christenings & Gifts, in Earlwood in Sydney’s inner south. It’s here, the twins never more
We still don’t know why her heart failed.
than an arm’s length away, that the couple work five days a week, tag teaming between child-minding and attending customers. “We have them with us all the time, like we did with Konstantina,” says Poppy. “I could never leave them with anyone else.”
Here, as at their home, reminders of Konstantina are everywhere. The swings, play mats and toys which keep the twins entertained were once hers. On the walls hang more than a dozen large photographs of the dark-haired baby girl with the expressive eyes.
For Kosta and Poppy, life for the past eight years has been a series of highs and lows. Kosta first came to national attention in 2008 as the recipient of a donor heart from Doujon, who lost his life in the most tragic circumstances. Doujon was 20 and on the “holiday of a lifetime” when he was brutally attacked by a bouncer on the Greek island of Mykonos, leaving him with horrendous injuries. At that time, Kosta, who was born in Australia, but returned to Greece as a nine-yearold, was in an Athens hospital, desperately ill from virus-induced heart failure. A transplant was his only hope. Many will recall Doujon’s grieving father, Oliver Zammit, stoic before a crush of news cameras, announcing
Doujon was to be taken off life support and that he and wife Rosemarie would honour their son’s wish by donating his organs. It was an incredible act of generosity which saved many lives, including Kosta’s.
Weeks later, an extraordinary meeting took place. The moment Rosemarie rested her hand against Kosta’s chest, feeling her son’s strong heart beating, marked the beginning of a friendship both remarkable and rare. “It is a special bond,” says Oliver. “There is a great deal of respect for each other’s feelings.”
When Doujon’s killer went to trial, Kosta, once a highly regarded journalist and television producer, stepped in to translate the complex court proceedings for the Zammits.
Moving back to Australia (having met here in 2005), Poppy and Kosta married in 2009 in a traditional Greek Orthodox service, with Oliver as their best man. The Zammits were among the first to congratulate the overjoyed couple when they welcomed baby Konstantina into the world on
January 5, 2013. Dark-haired and green-eyed, the little girl was given the middle name Angelique, in honour of the “angel” Doujon, without whom she’d never have been born.
Konstantina was a healthy baby when, at eight and a half months old, she began teething and Poppy worried that she was eating little.
The family GP noted the raw gums, but nothing unusual and told the couple to return if she developed a fever. All was well until five days later.
“She just wasn’t herself,” Poppy recalls. “I said to Kosta, ‘We need to take her to hospital.’ ” At the Sydney Children’s Hospital in Randwick, doctors whisked Konstantina away for examination, but within hours, they returned with devastating news.
“By the afternoon, we knew her heart wasn’t working properly, but there was still hope she would be fine,” says Poppy.
Tests and procedures were carried out. “Then they came to us to say there was nothing else they could do and we had to switch the machines off.” Within 48 hours of arriving at the hospital, the shattered couple was saying goodbye to their baby.
“She was unconscious the whole time, but the nurses said she could hear us,” says Kosta. “No one was allowed to cry aloud because I didn’t want her to hear us being upset.
“We sang her favourite songs. We said the Lord’s Prayer … and watched her heart [rate] dropping. I have no idea how long it was, minutes or hours, but for us it was forever.”
Also keeping vigil were Oliver and Rosemarie. “He probably looked at Rose and me like we were the only people that could really understand what he and Poppy were going through,” says Oliver, recalling that terrible time.
Conflicting emotions
Kosta will be forever grateful to the Zammits for their support, knowing what they must have been reliving. “Before, when we would meet Oliver and Rose, we would try to feel how they felt, but until you are in that exact position, you can’t,” says Kosta.
Compounding the agony was a lack of answers for Konstantina’s death. “We had genetic testing and everything came back normal,” says Poppy. “We still don’t know why her heart failed.”
In the weeks and months after their baby’s death, Kosta and Poppy were swallowed up in a profound grief that left them barely able to function.
In time, though, they found solace and peace in their faith. “Placing our trust in God is what keeps us here today,” says Kosta. “We know there is a Heaven – it’s where Konstantina is and it is a destination we are looking forward to going to one day.”
Determined to honour their daughter’s legacy, they found the strength to set up the Konstantina Angelique Gribilas Foundation. With the support of friends, family and the community here and in Greece, they held a fundraising dinner, amassing $400,000 for the intensive care unit at the Sydney Children’s Hospital. “It was important for us, so that Konstantina didn’t pass through this world for nothing,” says Kosta.
The achievement pleased them, but unknown to everyone at the time, they were also mourning their latest failed attempt at IVF. In all, the couple endured seven cycles, at one time miscarrying twins. Each loss was a bitter blow, but Kosta and Poppy refused to give up.
“I could not imagine not being a mother again, so we just kept trying,” says Poppy.
Finally, on March 1 this year, after a heavily monitored but healthy pregnancy, came the twins – Stephania Michaela and Emmanuel Charalambos, whose name means “God is with us”. Kosta announced their arrival via social media, but refused to speak publicly. “We were too emotional,” the couple says.
Distressed by their conflicting emotions, it took a few kind but firm words from their priest to finally relinquish the guilt and enjoy their new family. “Father Stavros said, ‘You are upsetting your daughter’, and that was it, I understood that I wasn’t loving Konstantina any less by loving them the same,” says Kosta.
“Rainbow babies” is the name given to children born after the loss of a child and the Gribilas are grateful to theirs for “bringing the colour back” into their lives. “They give us permission to smile again,” says Kosta.
Emmanuel is an “active, cheeky, funny, little boy” and, with his green eyes, he bears a striking resemblance to Konstantina. When The Weekly visits the family, he is squirming and fussing, face red and contorted. Yet the minute Dad plucks him up, the crying gives way to a cheeky dimpled grin. Blue-eyed Stephania, the eldest by one minute, is a happy soul who rarely makes a fuss.
At first, Konstantina’s clothes and toys were set aside, but now all belongs to the twins, barring a few special toys and dresses.
“We thought Konstantina would like it better if we shared them with her sister and brother,” says Kosta.
The family visits her grave twice a week and the twins are reminded often that their big sister is watching over them. “People ask me how many children I have and I always say three,” says Poppy. “She may not be in my arms, but I still have her and they will grow up with Konstantina a part of their lives.”
Like his daughter, Doujon remains in Kosta’s daily thoughts. “It will never be my heart,” he says. “It was a gift. It’s Doujon’s heart. He has been involved in creating three lives and I will do all I can to keep his legacy alive, and teach these little ones what a brave man he was.”
Having long forgotten what
“normal life” is, Kosta and Poppy only wish for a “peaceful” one. “For us, every day is a gift,” says Kosta. “We take nothing for granted and know nothing is guaranteed. Anything can happen in an instant.
“If Konstantina could come back to us, I would be the happiest man alive, but that is never going to happen, so I just want us to be together to live a peaceful life.”