Life balances for mums
ALL MUMS ARE LOOKING FOR THE SECRET FORMULA TO BALANCING CHILDREN, WORK AND LIFE. IN A NEW BOOK, WOMEN SHARE TIPS AND TRICKS ON HOW TO SURVIVE
ALL mums are looking for the secret formula to balancing children, work and life. It was a knowing glance in a cafe that cemented the friendship — and eventual book, Working Mums — for Danielle Ross Walls and Louise Correcha (right). The mums bonded four years ago sharing a coffee and balancing their babies on their laps while lamenting the challenges so many mothers face — returning to work, parenting and even housework.
IT was a knowing glance in a cafe that cemented the friendship — and eventual book, Working Mums — for Danielle Ross Walls and Louise Correcha. The mums bonded four years ago sharing a coffee and balancing their babies on their laps while lamenting the challenges so many mothers face — returning to work, parenting, relationships and even housework.
“In a nutshell we were struggling with returning to work and we both had a common ambition to write a book,” Correcha says.
“It was an evolutionary process, putting together the list of women we wanted to include and wanted it to be both public figures and non-public. The idea was that every woman has an amazing story to tell, whether they’re a public person or not.”
Ross Walls says they were surprised and humbled by the stories the women shared, with all of them showing their strength and vulnerability. One thing they were determined not to do was deliver a book that was depressing. Rather, the collection of stories aims to be inspiring.
“There was the amazing story of one contributor, Olivia, an indigenous woman who dropped out of high school and went on to be the first indigenous female to be accepted as an undergraduate at Cambridge University,” Ross Walls says. “She had quite severe postnatal depression and was hospitalised under lock and key for a week. But her story is ultimately inspiring.
“Our hope is that by sharing these amazing stories it will help others who may be struggling in silence.”
MENTAL HEALTH
“I FIND it very important to prioritise things for myself, so I have a designated fun friend, who loves making me do fun things with her. She’s like Julie on the old TV series The Love Boat. She always has me booked for a day spa or a trip to a gallery and she makes me pay upfront, so that once a month I have to do something just for me. It’s been lifechanging.” George McEncroe, founder of Australia’s first all-female ride-sharing service “KNOW that happiness is paramount, so allow yourself to say ‘no’ when you need to. Remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. You can only do your best, so invest your time and energy into the things that matter most to you and give yourself permission to let some things go. And if you need help to do that, don’t be afraid to seek help from a psychologist or speak to your doctor.” Amanda Abel, child psychologist
I’VE LEARNT TO FEEL OK ABOUT OUR UNCONVENTIONAL LIFESTYLE, WITH SO MUCH TRAVELLING, SWAPPING HOUSES, MINDERS AND SO ON, BECAUSE ULTIMATELY ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT YOUR CHILD FEELS LOVED AND SAFE, WHEREVER THEY ARE AND WHOEVER THEY’RE WITH.” MISSY HIGGINS, MUSICIAN
I DANCE. Enthusiastically and often. Impromptu kitchen discos and car trip concerts have saved my sanity many times. I dance solo or with the kids. I move, mindfully thanking my body for what it can do. I drown out annoyances by cranking up the tunes. I dance, not caring how it looks (the worse, the better) and focus on how fun it feels. Moving to music is mood medicine for me. Jade Wisely, photographer and communications coach “LOOK after yourself. Have a to-do list that you can check off, but don’t sacrifice your mental and physical health just so you can say you achieved everything you set out to do today. There is a reason we are told to put our own oxygen masks on first if there’s an emergency, so prioritise yourself sometimes. It might seem selfish to do this knowing your to-do list is astronomical, but your health and wellbeing are important to everyone around you, so don’t neglect yourself in pursuit of making sure everyone else is OK.” Simone McLaughlin, creator of Jobs Shared “SCHEDULE time for “white space” — nothing planned, nothing else organised, just total freedom to do what you wish. This time is entirely for you — to allow you to feel rested, or perhaps full of energy, but certainly, in some way, full of joy. It may be five minutes here and there, an hour or two, or half a day. But relish the time you can choose to sit, lie down, read or just stare at the clouds. You will not only feel more like “yourself” again, but
you will be a better mother, with more energy to give others.” Kate Cashman, rest & renewal coach
PARENTING
“I KNOW from sports psychology that the last thing you say to someone directly correlates with how their brain will think. When you’re coaching an athlete for example, you say, ‘Do this,’ as opposed to ‘Don’t do that’. You focus on progress and the opportunity to keep practising and improving. And that in itself is the unique journey of learning to be a parent.” Alisa Camplin, former world champion aerial skier & businesswoman “I LIKE to set simple chores for each of the children they can tick off as they are completed, in return for TV and computer game time.” Irene Falcone, founder of store nourished life
REBALANCE
“I NEED to rebalance myself with regular time out immersed in nature, no matter the season or weather. It is an integral part of my self care that allows me to exercise and be surrounded by calm: the sound of silence, birdsong or the ocean. This, in itself, is my own type of meditation. I feel deep appreciation and a connection to the magic of our environment. As well as being time for myself, I also regularly take my young children with me. We hike and play games hunting for unique types of fungi (Google our favourite, the Mycena interrupta) in the nearby national parks. Sometimes we play eye-spy or hunt for shells at the beach. They also love to take their own photographs on our adventures.” Danielle Ross Walls, Career Ideas for Mums Expo creator
FAMILY TIME
“I HAVE played a game called “best/worst/funniest” at dinner time with my children from a very early age. It encourages conversation, memory, apologies, listening, appreciation and laughter. Sometimes we really surprise one another with our answers. It is a very simple recount of the best, worst and funniest moments in a day. I especially love when the funniest moment remembered is so funny that it can only be recounted through fits of giggles and snorted milk.” Mel Butel, creator of playACT playbased workshops for early childhood
HOUSEWORK
“MY husband and I have specialised in tasks so that neither of us has to complete cleaning tasks that we absolutely hate. For example, I never touch the dishwashing, but I have sole responsibility for clothes washing.” Chloe Chant, early childhood education & care professional “MY husband and I share one car. We “book” the car when we need it, in a shared digital calendar. If one of us books the car, the other will work from home, ride a bike or take public transport..” Christine Jolley, businesswoman EDUCATION “READ three books to your child each day from birth to five years and you will expose them to around 10,000 words by the time they start school. Sure, you might have to read their favourite book a thousand times, but the rich language and ideas you will introduce your child to, plus the quality time of snuggling together on a couch, will go a long way in building a love of learning. It doesn’t matter what you read. Read the newspaper or a magazine if you want — just read. It will give them a huge head start in literacy and lifelong wellbeing.” Tiffany Gilmour, singer & storyteller
MEALS
“WHEN your kids are old enough, let them make their own lunches after dinner each night. We have a special ‘lunch box’ container with suitable items in our cupboard and fridge. The boys choose for themselves, which gives them a sense of empowerment while we know they are eating something decent each day. Our mornings? So much calmer.” Jen Murnaghan, founder of digital dandy, a creative digital marketing service “WE recently discovered a meal subscription service at a local cafe. It’s actually a registered charity, and you get excellent quality, nutritious chefmade meals at a super low cost. We get the minimum five meals weekly — because we still like to cook — but just having those five meals ready means we’re covered for two or three nights midweek (or for my lunches, seeing as I work from home). This reduces work around cooking and cleaning up for a couple of days, plus it’s cheaper and healthier than takeaway. It’s a great balance for us.” Louise Correcha, co-founder of Red English, a writing & editing service “ONLY go once a week to the supermarket. Plan and set a time for it each week (preferably when you are child-free). It helps with managing your busy schedule and reduces unnecessary time spent grocery shopping.” Shari Willis & Lana Walsh, sisters
PREPARATION
“MY biggest tip would be routine and organisation. I know, it’s boring. It’s something I struggle with because I prefer to go with the flow; but going with the flow isn’t conducive to running a household with little people. I keep both a Google calendar and a hard copy diary. I put our general schedule and appointments in the Google calendar and insert reminders that can be emailed. You can also set notifications. I use my hard copy diary for all my dayto-day jobs. You don’t need to have both, but for me it works.” Kristy Vallely, blogger & business operator