Robbins apology far too late
UNTIL the #MeToo movement came along, we had a world order that put rich white men on a pedestal.
Feted, adored and revered, they ran our countries and corporations.
Tables are turning in this postWeinstein era.
Careers of influential men have ended abruptly as evidence of sexual harassment, sexual abuse and rape have surfaced.
While many powerful men appear to embrace the worldwide movement empowering sexual abuse survivors to speak up, it’s clear some still don’t get it.
The latest is life coach and motivational speaker Anthony “Tony” Robbins.
Robbins, the walking meme, spouts psychobabble 101 at arena shows, where empowerment costs $5000 a head.
A man who’s suffering is told by Robbins to grab his balls and yell: “I am a man” in front of 6000 people.
A woman who’s been in a Christian cult is given a Robbins signature bear hug and told: “You’re not that f--ing weak!” He then asks her to pick out three “uncles” from the crowd.
Although Robbins has long been accused of being sexist, he’s always insisted he respects women and loves their “feminine energy”. Even Oprah Winfrey is a fan.
And yet back in March, Robbins was telling a very different tale.
He told a packed stadium the #MeToo movement was a means through which women “get significance by attacking and destroying someone else”.
“All you’ve basically done is use a drug called significance to make yourself feel good,” he said.
“Anger is not empowerment. What you are seeing is people making themselves significant by making somebody else wrong,” he said.
As Robbins sees it, the problem is not the men abusing and harassing those around them, but the women who dare to stand up and call them on it. In his eyes, they’re not survivors who should be admired for their courage, they’re victims who make others weak through their accusations.
It’s scary to think a man who’s helped thousands, probably millions, of people to “grow into the men and women they dream to be” could hold such damaging views.
It’s concerning that a man who says he has “dedicated my life to working with victims of abuse all over the world” could be spouting such claptrap.
If this is empowerment, I’ll take victimhood.
Unlike some Neanderthals who think women deserve all the abuse that comes their way, Robbins’ comments are all the more powerful because they’re dressed up in the guise of self-empowerment.
“Your life is up to you,” he tells people. “Transform your life.
“Close the gap between where you are and where you want to be.”
His overall message is that people have control over their own lives and destiny. This is generally true, but many people are shaped and damaged by external events that are no fault of their own.
To suggest every person has the power to turn their lives around through no more than self-love and positive thinking is to downplay the serious and even lifelong consequences of sexual harassment and abuse.
Survivors can’t just wish their experiences away – even if they want to do so.
If Robbins knew anything about sexual violence survivors, he’d know vengeance is the last thing on the minds of most. Most put up with appalling behaviour for a long time in order to keep the peace, and only speak up as a last resort.
As Tarana Burke, the founder of the #MeToo movement, says, it’s about safety, healing and accountability. “We want to live a life free from shame,” she tweeted.
Sadly, Robbins puts all the onus back on the victims, letting perpetrators off scot-free.
Since clips of this particular show made international headlines, Robbins has apologised for his comments.
This is welcome, yet it doesn’t change what he originally said.
Robbins has apologised only since the backlash hit, rather than soon after making the comments.
As Burke pointed out this week, those who continue to support him do so with the full knowledge of his views on women and survivors.