Empowering children to speak out
BRAVEHEARTS TEACHES CHILDREN HOW TO KNOW, AND REPORT, WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED,
IT is a taboo subject that so many parents would not be confident to broach – how do you equip your child with the knowledge to deal with sexual assault.
The statistics are chilling – one in five children will be sexually assaulted before they are 18. Then it gets worse. The odds of the offence being carried out by “that creepy neighbour who lives down the street” are not so realistic.
The majority of reported offences are carried out by someone known to the family. On top of this, the incidence of children sexually assaulting children is rising, according to Bravehearts partnerships manager Kayleen Johnston, who says that 60-90 per cent of reported incidents are caused by minors.
Bravehearts has been working to bridge the gap.
The organisation – which has been operating for more than 10 years – follows three tiers of prevention: educate, empower, protect.
It is dedicated to educating Australian children about staying safe and is about to spread this message to its one millionth child this year.
Last week, Kayleen visited Edge Hill State School with education facilitator Narelle Spence, and mascot Ditto to perform to four year levels from Prep to Year 3, totalling about 650 children.
Deputy principal Kathy Street says she invites Bravehearts to perform at the school every year, and has already booked the organisation for 2019.
“It’s really important for people to know you can never start teaching this early enough,” she says.
THE BRAVEHEARTS SHOW
Inside the school’s performing arts centre, Ditto and Narelle stand on stage in front of an enthralled young audience.
Narelle talks about “no” feelings, which are our bodies giving us warning signs. For children, they can feel like “stuck feet, wiggly wobbly jelly legs, butterflies in the tummy and feeling like you need to go to the toilet”.
“These are warning signs your body is having ‘no’ feelings, so what you need to do is run and tell someone. We all have the right to feel safe,” she tells the audience.
She identifies to the students the things that make them feel uncomfortable, such as “showing you rude pictures in a book, hugs that make you feel uncomfortable and asking you to show your bottom or private parts”.
Those private parts are identified to the audience as the mouth, chest, between the legs and bottom.
“Private parts mean keep out, they belong to me,” Narelle says. “It is also wrong to look at or touch the private parts of other people.”
The kids sing songs and laugh at Ditto’s antics, hopefully taking in the child-friendly message that their bodies belong to them.
THE IMPACT OF ASSAULT
Kayleen says the Bravehearts team sees about 100,000 children a year, taking in remote regions such as Thursday Island and Aurukun.
She says the organisation is turning its focus to hiring travelling teams next year to target regional and remote areas, notably indigenous communities.
Kayleen says child sexual assault has long-lasting impacts that stretch into adulthood, notably negative mental health effects such as posttraumatic symptoms, depression, substance abuse, helplessness, negative attributions, aggressive behaviours and conduct problems, eating disorders, anxiety and more serious mental health conditions such as schizophrenia, delusional disorder and personality disorders.
“If you catch it (assault) at the beginning then your chances of that child recovering and going on to live a normal life are much better,” she says.
“It can be a difficult conversation to have and some parents don’t know how to do it.
“It can be as simple as teaching them to swim or how to cross a street. It is just about keeping them safe. As a parent you want them to be safe in everything they do.”
REALITY OF ABUSE
Kayleen says the most prevalent offenders are known to the family and that grooming behaviour will start with the family rather than the child. She believes the rise of children abusing children is due to the prevalence of sex “everywhere”.
“Sex sells everything,” she says. “Next to everything is sexualised in society.”
After a Bravehearts show in Tasmania three months ago, the team was told that shortly after a child attended the show, they were armed with the
knowledge they needed to then report a sexual assault.
Kayleen says that due to the impact of Bravehearts, police have reported that children are using common terms from the show while communicating about abuse.
IDENTIFYING FEELINGS
So what to do if the worst does happen?
Kayleen says empowering the child and keeping them involved with outcomes is important.
“This is about teaching them how to identify in themselves when they feel unsafe or unsure of a situation,” she says.
“As an adult you would know if you met someone and they felt off. Kids don’t always understand how they feel and so can’t always articulate that feeling and the behaviour.
“We are teaching them to notice those feelings when they are unsure and empowering them to go and tell a trusted adult. Nothing is so yucky that they can’t speak about it.”
COMMUNICATION IS VITAL
“It’s important to always talk to your kids and for them to know if they tell you something that it’s never their fault,” Kayleen says.
“Steer away from language like ‘if someone ever hurt you I would kill them’.
“This is somebody (the offender) who could be really close to them. It could be their uncle or aunt and as a six-yearold, they are stuck between ‘I want this to stop but I want don’t want them dead’.
“Talk to them about ‘if anybody hurt you I would want you to talk to me. I will always believe you’. If a child does disclose it’s about letting them know you believe them and that they are very brave.”
KEEP IT HONEST
“It is never a good idea to lie to them and say ‘I won’t tell anybody’ and then go to the police,” Kayleen says.
“It’s about keeping them informed.”
Similarly, if a child discloses abuse to a teacher, then the same approach can apply, with Kayleen saying the teacher could use language along the lines of: “We are going to have to talk to your mum and dad about this”.
Kayleen says it is important to reinforce that the child is not in trouble and to use language such as “we are going to make that behaviour stop”.
“Keeping the communication line open and the child across what’s going on keeps the child empowered,” she says.
Kayleen says she is thrilled the Bravehearts show effectively connects with children, helping to “empower a child in a that situation to break out of it”.