Believe it or not, the joy is for real
CHRISTMAS TIME IS ONE OF JOY, GIFT GIVING, FAMILY AND – OF COURSE – SANTA, BUT IT ALSO PRESENTS PARENTS WITH ONE PARTICULAR CHALLENGE
WHILE not everyone celebrates Christmas, for those who do, it can be a chaotic time of the year.
There is the myriad decorations to unpack and put up, family and friends to visit, and of course the dreaded trip to the shopping centre to grab gifts.
But it is also a magical time of the year and as December 25 closes in, you can often see the delight in children’s faces as they prepare for the arrival of the big man in red.
But as much as Santa is a magical part of the Christmas tradition, it can also be one that brings some anxiety for parents.
Should we tell kids Santa is not real?
The one question prompts a host of other questions.
Is it all right to lie to our children?
Is there any real harm in lying to your children to indulge in this popular myth?
Is it OK to use the jolly big fella in red to exhort good behaviours from children?
We asked five local people their thoughts on whether we should lie to children about Santa. No, keep the fantasy alive Christmas is one of those wonderful joys of becoming a parent.
While Santa’s arrival with a bag of toys placed under the tree can be used as a bartering tool for good behaviour, seeing the delight on your child’s face as they tear the Christmas wrap to reveal a much wanted toy is something to behold.
The fantasy of Santa (and the Easter bunny) is all very easy to keep alive when you have just one or two children underfoot, but when there are multiple kids of varying ages, the magic and mystique doesn’t last very long – although most will feign belief for as long as they can. Why tell children the truth when sooner or later, they will find it out all by themselves? Pip Miller, public relations expert and mother of five Your choice, but don’t ruin it for others I was raised believing in Santa, and I’ve done the same with my kids.
Is it wrong to tell that small lie? I don’t know.
I’m not going to judge either way except to say that we’ve all done it, we’ve all told a fib to our kids.
Some will say they haven’t, but we really all have.
Whether it’s something as small as “no I haven’t seen your left over nine-month-old Easter eggs” as you’ve thrown them out just in time for the garbo, “No I won’t let go” as they learn to ride their bike, or in this case, “Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus”.
Kids often live in a magical fantasy world, a world inhabited by witches and princesses, housemaids and fairy godmothers, goblins and elves, superheroes and worlds far, far away.
The whole idea of personification of Christmas either as Santa/Father Christmas/Kris Kringle/Sinterklass has been around since the early 15th century.
So I’d like to think that if it was causing any issues to our kids’ trust or self-resilience, it would’ve shown up in the generations since.
Ultimately I think you are the one that knows your child.
Is the truth going to upset them, or confirm what they feel?
You have to play that one out for yourselves, while balancing having them not spoil it for those who do believe. Bart Foly, father of two No, let kids enjoy the magic Finding the magic, fun and joy in life is key to everyone’s happiness.
As adults we find it in nature, connection to others and our experience of life.
We learn to deliberately seek things that bring us that magical feeling.
For children, knowing that Santa brings gifts, especially for them, to celebrate Christmas is an incredibly effective way to bring them some of that fun and joy.
Eventually children will understand that gifts have been given freely without expectation of anything in re- turn. This is the real magic of Christmas.
For a child to know the warmth of giving and caring about others without expectation of anything in return – therein is the real magic.
Children learn the value of giving and caring for others, freely and unconditionally.
What a beautiful gift to give to our future generations. The reality of life comes soon enough. Let the children have their magic in those early years. Suzanne Scarrow, psychologist at Personal Peace Clinic
Embrace the festive spirit
It’s not telling a lie, it’s much bigger than that. It’s a “feeling” and a “vibe” in the air.
It’s the sparkle and wonder in your child’s eye when they talk about Santa.
It’s the belief in something bigger than we are, bringing magic into the lives of children in a world that’s so fast and sometimes tragic.
What can be wrong with that?
I vote for a world where Santa does exist, even if it’s only in our hearts. Kristy Vallely, The Imperfect Mum founder It’s a personal choice The decision to support a belief in Santa is a personal one and it is neither wrong or right. The most common question that people have is, “Will my kids have a hard time believing me when they eventually find out?”.
Those who love the tradition will be pleased to know that research shows children whose parents supported the belief in Santa did not grow up to mistrust or resent their parents for not telling them the truth.
In fact, the studies showed that these children learned to use critical thinking skills to come to the conclusion that Santa isn’t real.
In addition to this, they learned the difference between telling white lies and lies that are more harmful.
On the other side of the coin is the fact that these skills can still be introduced if you choose not to support the belief by encouraging the children to think critically and talking openly about honesty. Either way no harm is done. As adults we need to be questioning the message that “you must be good if you want a gift from Santa”.
Ideally we need to be teaching our children that the value of making good choices does not lie in receiving a gift (a reward for being good) but that good choices are a gift in themselves because they lead to better outcomes. Nia Barnes, principal psychologist, Mind Matters Cairns