Sporting sledges are often rude
HEY ref (clap clap), your mom called (clap clap), she said (clap clap) you suck.
Years ago, I was at a college-football game in the US when that chant was shouted by thousands of spectators in unison.
In the US, taunting the referee is the stuff of legend. You hear calls like: “Hey ref, you were adopted! Your parents didn’t love you!” And: “I’m blind, I’m deaf, I wanna be a ref!”
It’s hard to imagine anyone getting away with that here.
AFL fans are angry after two spectators were ejected for calling umpires a “green maggot” and a “baldheaded flog”. Things are getting way out of hand.
In Italy, you have to flash your private parts at an umpire to get thrown out of a game, not use a term like “maggot”, which is widely regarded as affectionate (but perhaps not by umpires).
While I don’t agree with anyone being taunted over disability, race, gender, sexuality or mental health, good-natured taunting, cheering and sledging is part of our sporting culture. When your team’s losing by 80 points and it’s pouring and only 8C, there’s nothing like a good chant to warm everyone up.
This week, the AFL told fans to barrack as loud as we can, reminded us that the “theatre of match day” is a “place to be expressive and passionate about your team and the game”. But don’t they realise some of the best cheers, chants and sledges in sport are funny, rude and often a little bit lewd?
Expressive and passionate? Take the English cricket’s Barmy Army, which is famous for its jibes about the “cheating Aussie convicts”.
Over the years, they’ve dished out many digs about Mitchell Johnson’s bowling (and relationship between his wife and mother), Shane Warne’s diet pills and Ricky Ponting’s playing skills.
In return, Aussie fans give as good as we get. One memorable chant from Australian soccer supporters to the English is: “Shag your women, take your jobs, doo-da, doo-da/ Shag your women, take your jobs, oh da-doo-da day …”
English Premier League teams are famous for their chants, which often cover topics such as the affairs, divorces and financial problems among the famous and highly paid players.
Remember Chelsea fans singing about John Terry after his affair with Wayne Bridge’s ex-girlfriend became public? “Chelsea, wherever you may be, keep your wife from John Terry” (sung to the tune of Lord Of The Dance).
Or the chant sung by opposition fans after Manchester United centre back Rio Ferdinand was suspended some years ago?
“His name is Rio and he watches from the stands …” (to the tune of Duran Duran’s Rio).
Liverpool fans may also remember the ditty about Jamie Carragher’s father who was arrested at a match for being drunk: “He’s red, he’s sound, he’s banned from every ground, Carra’s dad, Carra’s dad.” (His defence was that his thick Scottish accent made police think he was drunk when he wasn’t.)
Gee, it makes Aussie rules games seem so tame in comparison, doesn’t it?
The same larrikin spirit makes Aussie players such magnificent sledgers.
Brisbane Lions legend Michael Voss once told an umpire to “stop the game, there’s an Auskicker on the field”.
All eyes turned to check out young Cat Shannon Byrnes, who’s only 177cm. The funny thing is that the umpire did stop the game.
Brisbane Lion Jonathan Brown once told Essendon’s Mark McVeigh he was going to “eat him for breakfast”.
“Are you going to use the same bowl you use when you get your hair cut?” McVeigh asked. Love it. Aussie rules is not the ballet, the opera or at an under-8s kiddies’ netball game. It’s rough, tough and robust.
That’s why hauling out fans for using popularly accepted terms like “maggot” makes the AFL look like a bunch of schoolgirl sooks.
We go to footy games rather than watch them on TV because we’re passionate.
We yell, we scream, we cheer.