Farewell, Coon, old cheese
A FEW years ago, Peter “G’day” Russell “G’day” Clarke asked us to “say cheese” and we all said “Coon!”
It’s been a much-loved brand in Australia since the late 1940s, but now it will be retired by Canadian owners Saputo.
Coon used to be Australian for tasty. Now it’s Australian for racism.
I prefer to think it is less a “corporate reckoning on systemic racism” — as some have labelled it — and more a sign of the times.
Unlike 93 per cent of the population who think it’s “just a name” and the change is “political correctness gone mad”, I don’t mind the update.
These days, you don’t get a bag of mixed lollies with Redskins, Chicos and Fags in there, do you?
And you can’t buy Creole Creams or Golliwog biscuits.
In the eyes of many Indigenous people, coon is a derogatory term.
I think their desire not to be offended trumps my right to serve Coon and kabana squares on toothpicks at my next barbecue.
People who say the name is OK because it was named after cheesemaker Edward Coon have probably never had the word flung at them in the playground by the school bully.
Despite its name, Coon has served us well over the years. In fact, I’ve got a block of it in my fridge right now. It was a much-loved brand before people knew it was offensive.
So, for the last time, let’s remember Coon, the cheese, before it became Coon, the racial slur.
It started out as the “man’s cheese” in the 1960s, before becoming a family favourite in the 1970s when Breville invented the toastie machine.
By the 1980s, the brand hit a low spot, with a mini book of 101 Coon recipes showing the cheese fanned over a sad bit of ham and made into a pie lattice over pineapple. Eeew. By the 1990s, Russell-Clarke breezed in to ask “Where’s the cheese?” and to “Turn every barbie into a beauty!”
TV jiggles from around that time hint at the great minds of Australian advertising: “Coon is a tasty cheese that tastes like Coon. Chunk after chunk after chunk, you’ll enjoy the taste of Coon,” one ad’s lyrics say.
By 2011 some smart cookie had come up with the notion of the “Coonoisseur”.
A kid on a beach called Reese rated it as a “perfect bubbling melt with an upfront tanginess and a nice smooth, lingering finish”.
There was also one from around that time where a mum forgets to buy Coon and is forced to confront what happens when … (dramatic music) … “The family comes home to the house of no Coon”.
“Don’t let your home be a house with no Coon,” the tagline says (it’s probably best we gloss over a 1996 ad that had a jingle to the tune of Doctor, Doctor Give Me The News”).
Recent ads have been less memorable, and we’ve been asked to use it to make chilli chicken coleslaw sliders and breakfast cheese souffles.
How very 2002 … I guess it was only a matter of time before the name caught up with us.
The change to Coon comes as other food brands, including Aunty Jemima pancake mix and Uncle Ben’s rice, are updating their names.
I don’t mind the removal of such names, which are clearly derogatory, but there are signs it’s all being taken too far by some.
Colonial Brewing shouldn’t change its name, for one.
And no, I don’t think MasterChef has a “bamboo ceiling” because there were no Asian-Australians in the finale.
The funny thing is that some of those who point the finger at such products, such as comedian Josh Thomas, have been accused of racism themselves.
The same goes for former UK MP Fiona Onasanya, the woman accused of calling brown monkeys on Coco Pops packets racist because they’re accompanied by three white boys.
She’s got a criminal conviction for lying to police over a speeding ticket, so who cares what she says?
So, what’s next for Coon? Saputo says it is “working to develop a new brand name that will honour the brand-affinity felt by our valued consumers while aligning with our current attitudes and perspectives”.
Wow. That sounds like a spiel from the same sharp minds that brought us the disastrous iSnack 2.0 … the mind boggles.
In the meantime, enjoy some Aussie cheese — regardless of what it’s called.